How can i disappear in silence ?

Question

Hello,
I’m currently in a 4 years and a half relationship ( long distance ) everything was good in the first two years but then he started acting really cold he really confuses me. For example, he came back to our hometown last December but he was busy partying with his friends he was drunk most of the time and didn’t even try to see me even though he told me that the first thing he wants to do when he comes back is to see me. He was acting really immature and even when he left he was only talking to me in a sexual way. Anyways, i have a colleague who’s married with two kids, he’s 15 years older than me so I wasn’t thinking that there was anything wrong, I resigned two months ago & we kept in touch, he was telling me about how things are miserable between him and his wife i was listening as a friend but he literally told me that he wants to divorce his wife and propose to me. Yet, my boyfriend noticed that I’m acting cold and came to apologize to me & kept telling me how much he loves me. I really don’t know what to do since my colleague is really obsessed with me in a weird way, i want to end things with both of them without breaking their hearts but i dont know how💔.

Answer

Break up with your boyfriend.
He'll be msd/sad/etc. It is as it is.
Tell the other guy you're not interested.
Block both of them.

Answer

Both guys are not good. Do not go out with your coworker/e coworker. I can see it can be that thing where he says he’s leaving his wife but doesn’t. Break up with your current boyfriend cause he’s definitely cheating. Take some time for yourself and Meet someone new

Answer

You have every right to assert your wishes. Women are often conditioned societally to be martyrs to save another's feelings. Not true!!! We can and should be assertive. Yes we need to set our boundaries in a respectful manner, but if the other person is upset, distraught etc thats on them and their support system to sort through that. Your former colleague is a married man. Hes cheating. I dont care if hes miserable or shes the worst wife ever, first of all thats usually just what they say to get the other woman in bed thinking poor guy and hes on his way out anyway. If she was that bad, he would have ALREADY left vs "planning to leave" with setting up a girl on the side 🙄 Good men dont do that. Dont fall for it!! And your bf should have shown you respect and value all along, not just be upset and on good behavior just because youre wanting to leave (eg hes stepping up just because he doesnt want to lose his back burner). So if theyre all heartbroken, well they both did that to themselves 🤷‍♀️. Thankfully you recognize that you deserve better, because you do! Just tell them straight up and move on, block them if theyre bugging you, you dont owe them anything.

Answer

Don't go with a man that is still married because the same respect he gives to her will eventually be the same for you. And long distance boy had a chance if your not happy keep searching your not married to either.

Answer

Dump your boyfriend.  Your colleague is likely never going to leave his wife so don't take him on. If he does however get a divorce and you want to pursue a relationship with him, then proceed but ONLY IF he does indeed get divorced and AFTER it is finalised!

Answer

You can’t be scared of breaking their hearts. Break ups are never easy and it’s just part of life. You have to simply let them know you aren’t interested in continuing a relationship. Be firm and don’t let them convince you otherwise.

Answer

Don't worry about breaking their hearts. They are bith bad news, do what is good for you in the long run. How can you move on and find the right person foe yourself when you're still hanging out with these guys who you already know will not make you happy?
You don't want a future with them so it's better to cut them, regardless of their heartbreaks.