Is my husband a narcissist or what do you call it?

My husband and I have been together for 10 years and married for 5. We’re about to start marriage counseling, because I told him I wanted a divorce. I’m going to list a few examples of why I believe my husband is a narcissist or something else. I feel like with how he has treated me in the past 10 years is just enough. I’m done, but he wants to do this marriage counseling and I doubt that it will fix anything. I begged for marriage counseling when we was together for a few years, but he said no. He told me that the counselor would side by with him and tell me that he was right and I was wrong. I still have that instilled in the back of my head to this day. Now here’s a few examples. I can’t give an example of this one as I can’t remember the details of what the argument was. But whenever I get upset about something, I’d confide in him and tell him why exactly I am upset about. Instead of taking my words he would turn it around and say “no you’re upset because” of some other reasons that wasn’t relevant. He always would tell me I’m worried about nothing, I’m over reacting, I’m over thinking about things, it’s all in my head, and always tells me exactly how I’m feeling in his own words and why I feel the way I do in his own words.

Few years ago, one of his friend was blowing up my Facebook messenger with photos and video of naked women playing/ masturbating them selves. I asked his friend nicely few times “please stop sending me those kind of things” he replied “suck it up bitch you’ll take this rather you like it or not!” And proceeded to send me more pictures and videos. So I blocked him. I told my husband what happened and he went “well he’s just playing around.” Few days later he asked my husband to relay apologies to me, I told my husband “I don’t care! He can kiss my fat ass for all I care!” My husband got angry and told me “you’re overreacting! He was just playing!” Invalidating my feelings and validated his friend instead. Whenever I get upset about how other people treated me or how they made me feel, I’m always invalidated, because he’s always validating them. And then February of 2022 we lost our son at 15 weeks pregnant. He decided to start working 132 hours a week. I had a traumatic D&C as I had SVT when I woke up from the surgery. I expressed to him that I wanted him to work those normal 40 hours a week instead of 132 hours for about a couple of weeks because I was scared of being home alone. He always tells me that he will be back the next day and see me for 2 hours every single day. I felt abandoned. I packed up my kids and left to stay with my aunt, then he told me that I betrayed him for leaving especially when he was the one who decided to work all the times. Also about a year ago I wanted to get something for us for valentines gift. So we ordered some sex toys from Adam and <a href="https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.glow.android.eve">Eve</a>. He got a pocket pussy and I got a dildo. His toy arrived first and they gave me a wrong toy. So I had to call and inform them that my package didn’t come with my dildo. He seemed to be excited about it, no big deal. Then 2 weeks later my dildo arrived. He saw how excited I was about my toy, he appeared to be upset. He asked that I wait til he’s off one night that we’ll play with each other, I promised him, but I asked him to do the same for me. But because he continued to work 132 hours a week we didn’t get a chance to do that… til our youngest daughter got severely sick that she was admitted to the hospital for 3 days… we came home and I found that he has already tried out his toy… breaking our promise to each other. So I confronted him and I expressed that I was pissed… he started getting physical with me by physically pushing me around d to where my 12 years old daughter had to tell him to stop. He continued to scream at me and physically push me. It just amazes me how I kept my promise and he couldn’t keep his. Our youngest daughter also have tree nuts allergies. I’m the one who take my children to doctors office etc etc. when I informed him of her allergies to the tree nuts, he said that she would grow out of it. Especially when I told him that she’s SEVERELY ALLERGIC!! Epi pen allergic. It still didn’t faze him. Well he decided he wanted to let her have one of the cashew that she tested positive for allergies, I told him if he does try it, I’m calling the police and pressing charge for the abuse he’s about to inflict upon her. So he never tried again… or at least I hope he didn’t. But the whole point is when I tell him of our children’s medical diagnosis he’s always in denial, didn’t believe anything I tell him. Had to hear it from the doctor himself. I honestly do not know how this marriage counseling would be able to save my marriage. I’m so hurt and so angry at him that I do not want anything to do with him anymore.