Any tips on how to cum ? Seems like i cant im not sure what to expect

Question

Penetration? and Just sexual activities with my gf i literally only produce the natural arousal liquids … sometimes its alil thicker buh ion know what I’m supposed expect.

Answer

This is a long answer, so I broke it up into 2 parts
Part 1 - What is an orgasm?
An orgasm is the climax of sex and masturbation. During sexual stimulation, stress and tension builds up in your muscles and brain. If this continues, your brain will shut down in a coma like state for a second or two, allowing your body and brain to release that tension and stress in waves of pleasure, contractions, maybe heat and shaking, all starting from your sex organs and radiating outwards. After an orgasm you may feel any of relaxed, happy, satisfied, content, glowing, sleepy.
Masturbation is your very own private research laboratory where you learn about your body, sex, and orgasms. It is an important part of your education. 
If you have not done so yet, close your door, wash your hands, switch on the lights and look at your genitals in a mirror. It may be a shock if you have not done so before, It will likely look different than the fantasy version you see in porn, both in color, what sticks out or are hidden, and how large or small things are. 
Google “female sex organs drawing” and see if you can identify the same parts in your own body - The outer lips (labia majora), the inner lips (labia minora), the clitoris hood, the clitoris, your pee hole (urethral opening) and your vaginal opening (it may or may not have pieces of your hymen still there around the rim). The area between your inner lips may be smooth, or it may be very uneven.
If you are braver, stick a finger inside your vagina and feel the ridges that allows your vagina to stretch for penetration and child birth. Also fee how it curves. You may be able to feel your cervix right at the top. It fells like the tip of your nose with a small dimple in it where the little hole is that leads to your uterus. This is where sperm enters, cervical mucus and your period comes out, and through which a baby passes during child birth,

There are a few things that can affect your ability to orgasm:

1. Growing up in a strict religious or conservative culture often means that everything sexual around you were repressed and covered in shame and guilt. Learning to orgasm and enjoy it is often the first step to get rid of the repression, shame and stigma of considering yourself asa sexual human being.
2. Your body image and acceptance - If you criticize your own body, you should stop that. It is the body you have, and your partner wants to be with you. Nobody’s body is perfect. We all have some parts we want to change, especially when it comes to weight, breasts and vulva. But we are almost always way more critical of our ownbodies than any of our partners. So it is important to put all that thoughts out of your head. Your partner is with you because he/she wants to be with you, not because you have a perfect body, but because they love you and your body. Your body is not who you are. You are much more than a pair of breasts and a vagina. Aways remember that.
3. Sex education, or the lack of it plays a great role in women’s inability to orgasm. If you do not understand the different roles of your vagina and clitoris, or how to get to an orgasm using them, you will find it difficult to orgasm. The same goes for your partner. If he/she do not know how women reach orgasm, they will find it difficult to make you orgasm.
4. Communication - communication with your partner about what you need or want is very important. Without it, they are just working in the dark, hoping or wishing they can make you orgasm
5. Control - you have to be willing to give up control of your body to your partner. To just let go and not care about what you look like, what you smell like, what you sound like, or what you do. Sex is one of the most  basic and primal things humans do. Do not overthink it

If you do orgasm when you masturbate, you likely already know the secret to your own pleasure without even realizing it. You have two organs “down there”. One for reproduction and one for pleasure. Since they are so close together, they get confused, and besides, sex-ed sucks big time.

Your vagina is for reproduction. It is your birth canal, and a safe place for your partner to ejaculate his sperm to get you pregnant. It is also an outlet for your menstrual flow. To protect you from trauma caused by pain, your vagina is largely without nerve endings, leaving it mostly with very little feeling. If it was very sensitive inside, child birth, menstruation, inserting tampons, infections and sex would be intolerable. Unfortunately sex with a male partner is mostly concentrated around your vagina with his penis pumping in and out of it.

Your clitoris is actually your primary pleasure organ. It is the equivalent of the male penis, except that you do not ejaculate, and you do not pee through it. It is a massive organ, going almost 15 cm inside your body. It forms 2 wishbone structures, the 2 fat bulbs that are going under your lips towards your vaginal entrance, and two thin long legs that goes deeper in your body. Just that little tip that you can see and feel (the glans) has more than 8,000 nerve endings (10,000 according to new research), making it the most sensitive organ anywhere on a human body. In other words, it is made for stimulation, leading to pleasure and orgasms. Unlike a male partner’s penis, you do not pee through your clitoris, you do not ejaculate through your clitoris, and your clitoris does not have any glands. Your clitoris has only one job - pleasure leading to orgasms.

Answer

Part 2
During normal sex with a male partner, most women do not get enough stimulation to their clitoris to orgasm. Only about 20% to 30% can orgasm from just intercourse. Research has shown that it is because their clitoris is close enough to their vaginal opening so that the thrusting of the penis also stimulate their clitoris. The rest of us need extra clitoral stimulation to orgasm during sex. There are a number of ways to achieve this. It may feel unnatural in the beginning, but it will become second nature pretty quickly and it holds the keys to a great sex life.

During sex, you need to stimulate your clitoris. You can do it with your fingers, his fingers, a small clitoral vibrator, a couples vibrator or by changing how you move during sex. Giving your clitoris extra stimulation by rubbing or vibration is easier done with you on top, or him behind you. And it is pretty much just masturbating while he is inside you.

Changing the way you move can also give you great orgasms. With him fully inside you, tilt your pelvis so that your clitoris makes contact with his body. The rub, squeeze and grind in small movements on him. There is no rule that states that sex must be the in/out up/down that does so little for you. When you get more adept with this, you can even end the in-stroke with a sweep of your clitoris on his body, giving you back this typical in/out motion. This is also much easier done with you on top where you can control the movements. 

There is even a sex position that achieves this very efficiently called the coital alignment technique (or C.A.T.). You can google it. It is difficult to explain and it takes some practice and experimentation, and I think it is easiest done with a long term partner.
Some interesting research also showed that the following can help you orgasm with your partner:
* Keep your feet warm. Wear socks if you need to
* Use a few positions. Couples that tried at least 3 positions during a session orgasmed more than those that did not
* You need to move and not just lay still. Women who move there hips during sex orgasms consistently more than those that do not
* Foreplay do not play any role in the woman’s orgasm from intercourse. Of course it is still needed to make penetration painfree and comfortable. The time spent with penis in vagina sex does determine the woman’s ability to orgasm. If it takes you 14 minutes to reach orgasm, and your partner only lasts 10 minutes, you are not going to orgasm
* You have to be mindful and present in the moment. Thinking about anything else is not helping. Being worried about how you look or smell is not helpful. Thinking about something that happened or something coming up is not helpful. Being self conscious is not helpful. Fantasizing during sex can help.
* Fully trusting your partner and giving up control is important.  During sex it is easy for your partner to injure you, so trusting him is important. And if you are worried about losing control during your orgasm, you are not going to orgasm
* Using a safe birth control method is important. If you are worried about getting pregnant, you cannot enjoy sex the way irt is supposed to be enjoyed. This is especially true if you use pull-out or had a pregnancy scare before
With a female partner, the same principals apply - getting stimulation to your clitoris from her mouth, fingers, a toy or strap-on, or rubbing your clitoris on her body it the way to get your orgasm during sex.

If you are wondering how to stimulate your clitoris, here are a few tips:

•	If you have not done so yet, wash your hands, lock your door, switch on the lights, get naked, Sit with a mirror and look at your genitals. Spread your lips, pull back your clitoris hood and look at what you look like. Identify all your parts. If you do not know where or what they are, google “female genitals diagram”.  What you see is all you. It is as much a part of you as your face or breasts. It is all good. There is nothing bad there. There is nothing to be ashamed of or feel embarrassed about. We consider our genitals to be private. That does not mean it is bad or shameful. It is just private and you decide whom sees it and when.
•	In the beginning your clitoris may be very sensitive. Start very gently and not directly on your clitoris. Make sure you are well lubricated. When you are dry, your clitoral hood will “stick” to your clitoris, rather than slide over it. You can use your own arousal fluid from inside your vagina, saliva or a store bought personal lubricant on your fingers.
•	You can rub next to your clitoris, over your clitoris, around your clitoris, on your clitoris. It can be slow or fast, hard or gentle, large motions or very small motions. You can use a finger tip, a finger, multiple fingers, the palm of your hand or an object/toy. You can rub, squeeze, press, grind, tap, pinch or vibrate your clitoris.
•	You may also find that the closer to orgasm you get, the faster and harder you go, and the more direct the stimulation needs to become.

Answer

Cuming is a slang term for an orgasm. Is that what you mean?
Or do you mean squirting? If you can pee, you can squirt. For some women it just happens. Others must bear down to get it out

Any tips on how to cum ? Seems like i cant im not sure what to expect

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