Engagement or End it?

Okay, haven’t been on here in YEARS but here we go:

3 weeks ago I ended things with my ex. We were together for 3 years, and I moved in for about 4 months. THEN after multiple talks, agreements, and disagreements, I moved out. He made me feel sooo unwelcomed, even made me feel as if it was my fault for pressuring him to have me move in 🚩 I waited…and HE was the one to ask me. He didn’t want me to move in right away, he wanted to have time to himself for a couple years. But we’re 26 and 27…you’d think after 3 years together, he would know by now? So back to me moving out. I did, and we both cried during it. I had to go back to my family’s home and try my best to not have this disappointment in my ex. After that, we were still together, in fact we started being more loving with each other. Everything was pretty great, until I started to feel insecure about the relationship. Where are we going? We both have talked about marriage, getting a home, having kids… We both wanted the same things! But moving out was a step backwards for us, not a step forward. So I asked him if he ever plans on having me move in. I wasn’t asking about engagement because I just knew that frustrated him, so I stopped asking. But I wanted to know where our future lies, and he said that he didn’t know 🚩 At this point, I poured out my heart about how I feel we keep going backwards, how I associate him and his apartment with sadness and I didn’t want that for either of us, and how the cleanliness of the apartment wasn’t the greatest (note: he’s a SLOB) And in the sweetest *eye twitch* words, he basically said I should seek out therapy 🚩 Now I think therapy is a great source for sooo many people, BUT I wasn’t asking for it. MY BOYFRIEND (at the time) should have been the therapist, especially when I was open enough to talk about how I felt in the relationship!!!

And to top it all off, he even said he had an engagement ring stored away 🚩 He’s had it stored for about a year….

Wouldn’t a man be excited to propose to his girlfriend? Wouldn’t he want to at least keep it hidden for tops 2 months for planning? It’s just so confusing because he let me walk out of that apartment with all my belongings, yet can go and dangle this promise of having an engagement ring??? 🚩 So here we are NOW. I basically wrote all of this out in a letter form and gave it to him in person. The only things he said during the breakup were: “I think this is a mistake.” & “We can still talk about this,” where I responded: “But that’s all it’ll ever be, is just talk!” And then he tells me “I think you should leave.” Since then, no contact, not even trying to compromise. Nada. 🚩 When friends ask me if he’s tried talking to me, I say no, and their faces say “are you serious?”

Now…a part of me feels horrible. Overall him and I had a GREAT relationship. No arguments, great communication, the same jokes, both have wonderful families…it’s just right after he got his new place, it’s as if he needed this sense of control on everything, and that is NOT a relationship. You are 50/50 with your partner, not, 20/80. I just feel like placing all those red flags really made me see how bad the situation was, but another part of me isn’t sure if I made the right choice on ending things. I love him and care deeply for him, but we just have different timelines planned.

Did I make the right choice? Am I just crazy and blew this entire thing out of proportion?

Please help me understand 😔