In Law Rant - this is going to long letting it all out!

My fiancé and I have been together 7 years. We have lived with his parents when we were younger and now are on our own and have a 9 month old baby girl. Firstly my in laws have always made me feel welcome and are always there for us if we need something. But damn are they some of the most negative and narcissistic people. They are full of drama and just the type of people that always have something negative to say. Just to list some things so you get the idea, they both don’t work (dad was injured on the job) so they aren’t in the best spot financially and have always been like that since my fiancé can remember. They used to make him feel bad saying stuff like we don’t have enough money for dinner tonight, or buying him a big present like a laptop and then selling it to get the money back months later. They never really tell us the truth about certain family stuff, health problems etc. almost like they are waiting to see how much drama they can create with the situations. Now it isn’t always like this some months they are really good but it always reverts back. So now fast forward that we have a baby. They question EVERYTHING I DO with her. I think it’s because we are complete opposites. She formula fed, I breastfeed. I take my baby to day care and she was a stay at home mom, list goes on and on. I think a lot of our arguments stem from the breastfeeding point right now ( I am a fed is best, I have no problem with formula!!) but they have always had an issue with me breastfeeding, like oh why is she always on the boob, like give her some real food, she is going to be spoiled, if you don’t do bottles we can’t feed her, blah blah. When she turned 4 months old they kept trying to pressure me about giving her food when me and her pediatrician preferred to wait until 6 months. But even now that she is 9 months they still are like why haven’t you weaned her or given her juice or this or that. And it’s so hard not to cause an argument sometimes because anytime you say oh things have changed they don’t want you to give juice and want to breastfeed for longer, they are the type of people to say oh well I did that when he was younger and turned out fine. They also always want to say like oh just wait until mom leaves then we can have fun, basically telling me they are doing stuff against my wishes. & They just always find something to knit pick me on instead of just enjoying time with her like my parents do which is why I prefer that my parents watch her. Also prefer this because there were some issues with his nephews when they lived there and they got removed by DCFS (a little to personal to share on here) but I had some caution with even letting them babysit her at first - which caused some tension between my fiancé and I. Which seems to turn a lot of stuff into my parents vs his parents and makes stuff really hard sometimes. We did get past a big argument and they have babysat her here and there but what my fiancé doesn’t know is I record them while they watch her, not video but just audio. And I’ve heard some stuff they said and just this weekend they watched her and they complained about me not giving her juice or a sippy cup. They did not end up giving her anything thank goodness or I would have had a cow, but from what I could make out on the recording they used a straw and let her taste coffee. Now I know they didn’t like have her take a big gulp or anything but it still really bothers me but because they don’t know about me recording and I don’t want to blow the secret because I’m going to keep recording them until I feel comfortable enough not to, I don’t know how to bring this up without giving it away but also enough to let them know not to do that again. I know this just a part of having in laws but I feel like they do this on purpose to start drama. And I feel like if I’m too like don’t do that, then that will make them do it more? Am I crazy? Should I just let it go? Idk hopefully I’m not alone in this 😅