So for context, last weekend my fiancé was being a selfish dickhole and stormed out of the apartment for the 3rd Saturday in a row because he assumed that since I was laying on the couch with our kids before 10 AM that all I was going to do was lay around all day which is laughable because not only am I the default parent but I’m also the house bitch, I do ALL the cleaning EVERY DAY, and I work full time. I am FAR from lazy, but he seems to get a kick out of making me feel like I am. And sometimes it works. Ngl. So he stormed out again and per usual I got up and cleaned my ass off and took care of our kids. He came home and rather than helping me out, he sat on the couch with his face buried in his phone with earbuds in, didn’t contribute to anything AT ALL. And then when it was time to get the kids in bed, he dipped out again, so I was left to do the bedtime routine alone. So when he got home I gave him an ear full of how overwhelmed and burnt out I am and I thought maybe I got through to him because Monday morning he asked if he could take me out on a date, he already had something in mind, but it was a surprise. So I was low key kind of excited and said sure. But as the week went on I was like pft, okay so clearly I wasted my breath because he still isn’t doing anything to help me out. Like he says he cares so much, but it doesn’t seem to actually be the case. And then he told me what the surprise date is….

A comedy show to see one of his favorite comedians. So then I was really disappointed and actually super dreading it. Just really confirmed he didn’t hear a single fucking thing I said. Like bro. I’m burnt out. I’m overwhelmed. I’m over stimulated 24/7. I never have time for myself. I want to relax. Not spend an hour or more in a stadium crowded with people. If I had known THATS what I was agreeing too, I’d have told him no. But it’s like he intentionally manipulated me into agreeing to this “date” knowing I’d say no if I knew what what it was and purchased the tickets in ADVANCE so I couldn’t back out and then told me what the date was so now I feel like I’m locked in to something I’m actually really dreading.

So the day has come right? And he let me sleep in kind of so I was hoping okay maybe I’ll come downstairs and he’ll have done some chores and I’ll be able to kind of chill for the day before going to this fucking show. Mmmmnope. Came downstairs to an absolute mess. It’s like he let the kids do whatever the fuck they wanted to do so long as they weren’t bothering him. There was garbage and dishes everywhere. And all in the same breath he was like morning so um I’m gonna shower and head out for a bit. Like ofc you are 🙄 so I was left to clean the mess he allowed the kids to make, load the dishwasher, vacuum, feed the kids lunch, give them baths, get them dressed and down for their nap - ya know all the shit I do EVERY DAY during the week. And he just dropped them off with his mom but unfortunately it’s already so late in the day that I don’t even have time to enjoy my nice clean home or the peace and quiet because I have to get ready so we can head out to this show. The perfect “date” for me - what I really need - is a quiet day in relaxing, maybe go out for dinner just the two of us, get some wine and come home and watch a movie or something. Or at the very least had been able to do something I want to do - like I would have LOVED to have gotten my nails done today. But I couldn’t. I was stuck cleaning and looking after the kids. I feel like I’m a fucking unpaid nanny. I just feel like if this “date” had really been about me and apologizing to me for his shitty behavior we’d be doing something I wanna do or I’d at least have had a say in planning something especially since I never get to go out. I’m either home with my kids or working. That’s literally it. So I’m just bummed that the first time going out in….idek how long…this is how I’ll be spending it. Do something my FIANCÉ wants to do. Per usual.

And he must have sensed that this is how I’m feeling because he said to me “ya know I just realized I didn’t really ask you if you even wanted to go blah blah blah” so I did tell him everything I just shared and he just got up and went into the bathroom. Like it would suck to waste the money, but honestly idec. The tickets were like $20 a piece so I was hoping he’d have been like omg I’m so sorry, we don’t have to go, we can just grab dinner and hangout. But he literally said nothing. So chances are even though I once again expressed how I’m feeling, I’m going to have to suck it up and go anyway and I’m super salty about it.