Am I wrong?

So I’m the 2nd oldest of my family, my sister is the oldest. She moved back in with us after her boyfriend was unfortunately murdered. It’s been almost 3 years since it happened and since it did understandably it’s been difficult for her. She has gotten a lot better since 2020 but would cry every now and then. My role is to be supportive, be there for her when she’s down, etc.

Since she’s been living with us we’ve butted heads a couple times and it’s not because of something silly. Last year I stopped speaking to her for a couple months because it was more peaceful that way, every now and then I would stop talking to her because I refuse to be talked down to, verbally mistreated, etc. She would blame it on her grief and I did my best to understand.

On my birthday weekend in March, my mom texted her to book a hair appointment for me to do my hair, and she threw a fit, stormed out the door, and cried because my mom didn’t ask her if she was okay after her deceased boyfriend’s birthday in February. I understand her frustration but I wish she didn’t make my birthday about her. I barely could enjoy it because I was afraid anything my family did for me would trigger her.

Recently I stopped talking to her because I just can’t do it anymore. She treats me like shit, and it’s like she’s singled me out, Whether it’s her remarks, saying how I can’t be trusted because I vented to my cousin about my family before her husband sexually assaulted me, ect. Every time she treats me poorly I tell myself to be understanding, maybe she’s still grieving, maybe she’s just sad, but I just can’t deal with her anger issues at the price of my own mental health. I have Bipolar 1 and I still try to treat everyone kindly, I understand grief is hard but I don’t think I should be treated like a doormat and forget about my own problems just to cater to hers, you know? Because I can’t help anyone or be there for anyone if I’m not okay mentally. No one should be treated the way she treat’s me. And I guess I’m immature but I rather not talk to her than to lash out or show my anger towards her.

Of course we’ll talk again, but I just need a break.