triggers

 Hi ok so basically me and my boyfriend  started dating  when we were 16 and 17  and we’ve been together almost 2 years now but basically he did a little something messed up in the beginning of our relationship. He didn’t cheat on me but the was my first everything and then out of no where he was cold forwards me after a while then we broke up mutually cuz i was over it too. then he slept with a girl that i never liked because it was obvious she liked him in his friend group. then he comes to me a month after we break up saying he misses me. and then he basically told me about the girl but with white lies and it was a way bigger story than i could ever imagine which i find out through bits and pieces even a whole year later. basically just lost my trust overall even if he didn’t cheat on me. but our relationship is perfect besides that one thing and it took a lot for us to like move on from there and like overcome it and he’s like became such a better person for like our relationship and my family sees it and loves him so much. butttt i struggle with not obsessing over it. i struggle with anxiety if something reminds me of that time frame because i was very hurt for so long i’ll like shut down and get really sad about it again. it could come once a day or once every two weeks just anything that reminds me of it and i’m trying to live in the past for the sake of my relationship because it would’ve be fair to him even after he’s most definitely stepped up and i haven’t been perfect either i just want to not let this take such a toll on me when i think about it and idk how .