Am I paranoid

Hi everyone,

I do have BPD so I have a strong feeling of abandonment to help add context.

My partner is in the navy and I am not loving this one girl who he brought up right at the beginning posting on the ship and would continue to talk about her.

I’ve seen text messages and they’re harmless between them but they do text every few days and see each other at work 5 days a week. This happened when we took a break so I could go into hospital to work on my mental health. And she newly broke up with her partner.it also hurt because we are trying to just have some distance and his talking to her more than me and I just find it odd. He will however happily give me his phone because he doesn’t believe there is anything to hide.

I’ve set boundaries before on his last trip, asking him to try to stay away from her just because I’m not super comfortable as I know he finds her attractive ( i asked) I’m not saying he can’t be with her, just not alone or all the time, however there’s no way of me knowing what he does tbh.

When he came home from deployment I found a couple of photos them from them on a trip he didn’t tell me about and I was hurt that he lied.

I’ve continued to find some other photographs from his trip that he didn’t show me (like museums and stuff) where he is in small groups but his always next to her and with different people but she’s always there. He claims to not invite her but every time it’s different people and she is there so idk if that’s true. He just never informs me and it makes me get more suspicious although I have found nothing to say his cheating.

His told her some information on our relationship that crossed lines - like I’m insecure.

I’m not sure if his lying so “I don’t get angry” cause he has said that or if he has feelings.

He reassures me it’s nothing and still gives me lots of love , apart from recently due to distancing ourselves for my own health.

Can anybody provide objective advice. We have been together 2 years now!I do need to add that his navy lifestyle does make it a little harder to differ. His department always goes out together and it’s normal for them to stick together in different countries to go out.

Thank you!