Leaving an abusive marriage

Hi all!

When I first created a profile here, I was 20 and had been with my boyfriend for five years when I thought it would be a good idea to start a family because I was young and had lived on my own since I was 15, so it felt like I was ready. Fast forward years later, we had 2 children and got married. I ignored every red flag because he was my highschool boyfriend and I didn’t have good examples of healthy relationships around me. When I logged back into this app last year, I read through my old anonymous posts. I was begging for help and advice, trying to justify my partners behaviors and the way he talked to me. I thought it wasn’t abuse because he didn’t physically hurt me. When I read those, I grieved for past me because I cannot believe I stayed for so long.

We have been divorced for a few years now, and I’m pregnant with my third child with a partner who is so kind to me that I still cry about it all the damn time. My oldest child is almost 7 and still remembers her first few years of life as being chaotic and a house full of yelling and crying. Our life today is COMPLETELY different. I have a partner who is helpful and kind without me having to ask, a home that is full of laughter and no slamming doors or insults.

This is for everyone who is where I was a few years ago - if you have to turn to an app and ask anonymously if things happening in your relationship are normal, they probably aren’t. You shouldn’t be screamed at, belittled, made fun of or be doing most of the parenting and other life chores. It should be equal. They should make you feel safe and happy. It’s possible to leave. I never thought I could and I did, without family or friends, and with barely any money. I believe in you and you deserve better. For you, and for your children who will grow up and think that the love you’re accepting is what they also deserve.