Using numbing cream on vagina?

I’m a very small girl. Just for context when I go in to get vaginal exams, they have to use one of the smallest speculums they have just so I’m not in extreme pain. Things are a bit different when I’m turned on (obviously not when I’m getting exams done lol) but it still hurts. It’s the actual opening to my vagina that hurts. I’ve never torn during sex, even during my first time, so I’m thinking about trying a numbing product. Before anyone says anything, yes I am all the way turned on. I can feel the difference when I’m not. The only way I’ve been able to semi comfortably have sex is missionary with a big pillow under my butt. I can’t even get on top or do doggy. I just want to be able to have sex without the pain. It’s also very slowly getting better but I’m talking very slow. If anyone has advice or product recommendations I’d appreciate it.

Also I do know that over using numb products is dangerous. I definitely wouldn’t want something that would 100% numb me or take the pain away. Just something to make it a little less painful while my body adjusts to sex. And no I don’t have any sort of condition, I’m really just a small girl.