ShouldI I be upset?

El

Elomas

Okay so basically, my partner and I have been together 14 years. We're not married but have 3 amazing children and currently own a house together. The house is 50/50. We are in the process of buying a new home for us all as a family. The new house is currently £280,000. His parents won a substantial amount of money a couple years back and wants to gift us £200,000 of it towards the deposit. I am beyond greatful! Yesterday his dad said he is concerned that if 5 years time we split, that I would kick him out and keep the house. Anyone who knows me knows I am nothing like that. I am not a greedy person, nor evil, selfish or nasty. I understand his dad's worry completely. Anyway, fast forward to today. My partner has always been for us having 50/50 on the next property but this time around he wants to own the entire equity of the house and wants to put me down for 10% once I finish my degree and start my career. I came out of uni to have our baby who is currently 1. We also have a 7 year old and a 6 year old.

I mean, I understand completely but that would mean I have no security. He then says that if we split he wants to ensure he won't be left with nothing because 'some women are evil' - granted, but so are some men, and wanted to ensure he gets back the full 200k gifted from his parents. I suppose I just feel rather insulted by all of this and I'm now questioning his commitment even though he's telling me he has no intention of splitting up, ever.

I have been in tears about it today because I felt like the new house was our forever home, our future and a future for our children. Now I just feel like I'm going to be living in his home and his home only. Should I be upset?

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COMMENT (2)

Is

Posted at
I would not personally be upset in case of separation there is no legal protection of goods this is why if you are building with your partner marriage is important. When you split from someone you’re not guaranteed that they will be nice during separation so he has good reason to feel that way. If you guys are committed than why not get married ? But if not y’all should be buying a house together because their is no commitment.

E

Posted at
He’s smart and protecting his money and son. I know it’s not a popular opinion these days, but marriage is exactly for this situation- it protects ALL of you in the case one of you does leave or get left (which you can’t say for sure will or won’t happen in the future). It’s dumb to buy a house and share a finances without it because it protects you. But just my 2 cents.