My heart is breaking a little as I’m realizing for several reasons this really should be and probably will be our last baby. I’m almost 27 weeks and still throwing up. It’s been a rough pregnancy for my toddler because I just don’t have the time for her with feeling so sick. Now I’m dealing with my second round of bacterial vaginosis and the antibiotics my dr put me on have done absolutely nothing for it. I’m in such pain I can’t function. I sit in tears trying not to scratch myself to death. Walking or doing anything irritates it so much more, so our house is severely neglected and it’s really weighing on me. When I’m not dealing with BV I’m dealing with CONSTANT yeast infections. I had the yeast infections constantly with my first pregnancy too. I’m basically in bed rest because moving just irritates it and now I’ve started with cracking, bleeding skin over it too when I move around.

It makes being intimate with my husband impossible. He’s incredible about it and so understanding but it really affects me and makes me feel tense and distant from him.

I’ve researched and done absolutely everything I can for the BV and yeast infections. I bring it up at every dr appointment and do everything they tell me to. Nothing helps for more than a day or two.

I also have no family around to help with anything. My husband’s family is a train wreck so I can’t depend on any of them. I have one friend that is always willing to help but she’s so busy with all her own kids I feel bad ever asking.

I’m basically alone in raising my children aside from my husband so I feel like two is probably all I should have for that reason too. It just makes me so sad because I always wanted at least four, but between still being sick, having these infections that keep me from functioning, and not having help, I feel like it wouldn’t be fair to the children I have or to my husband to have any more after this.

Just needed a place to vent and cry. If you pray, would you pray for me? I can’t handle this intense pain much longer. I have to find relief somehow!