I apologize in advance.. to make a super long story short.

My husband and I technically live with his parents. We are all saving money by this arrangement. We all agreed I would leave my job to take care of our children. Who are very young. My in laws were in the process of building their own house and we (my husband and children) would stay in this house once that happened but lots of obstacles happened and now they are in the middle of a lawsuit because of it. Their money is all tied up with no fault of their own. So we are all here for a long while in the for see able future. Here’s where I’m struggling.

-they treat my kids great. Always help provide for them. Buy them things. Help entertain them when they see I have my hands full.

-they both work from home. So we never get a break each other.

-FIL recently lost him job which makes my MIL very stressed

-MIL is a VERY clean and organized person. Like expects every to be dusted always, basically every day vacuumed, dishes always put away, everything in order.

-MIL is stressed about her job and lawsuit

-I’m a sensitive person who tries really hard to make everyone happy.

-ever since giving birth recently, I have seen a pelvic floor physical therapist and they said that my pelvis is completely unstable. Which leads to a lot of pain and things that inhibit me.

So with those things noted, when my MIL gets stressed she tends to clean or if something isn’t done to her liking she focuses on it. It’s happened multiple times where she’ll tell me what to do in a passive aggressive way. Just to set an example. One of my children were sick today. Super needy. Super grumpy. Super winey. Just cried over everything and anything. I took my children for a long walk because I know she enjoys it and it makes her feel better. Came home and gave her a snack and put her down for a nap and then nursed my newborn. He fell asleep in my arms and I was afraid to move him because I wanted him to sleep. After an hour or so my toddler wakes up and I feed her. Then we go pick something up from someone we know and we come home and I take her outside to play. But then the newborn wanted to eat. So I bring the toddler inside and MIL is doing stuff in the kitchen. (I’m also basically limping because of the long walk earlier but I don’t ever complain to them because I don’t think they really care) . So after 30 minutes my MIL is like “aren’t you guys going to go back outside?” My FIL replied “yeah we can, you wanna come with?” She responds “I can’t. I have to put away dishes” and I just know it was a jab at me. I do my best to keep everything clean and tidy. Certain days are really good. I can get so much done juggling a toddler and newborn. I can clean and vacuum and mop and cook and just feel so successful. Other days like today where I’m dealing with a crying child and feeling overwhelmed and then she makes comments like that and it makes me feel like shit. Like how dare me not be able to put dishes away. Keep in mind I did cook today and wash dishes my hand and put those away. I just never got 15 minutes to put dishes away from the dishwasher. But it’s always stuff like that. I could do xyz and I will get called out for not doing something else. She tells me how I should raise my child. I obviously express to my husband how this makes me feel and he says he can talk to them but he isn’t the one who is with him all day every day if he says something then it’s just going to be awkward. I feel stuck and overwhelmed by these standards. And then I feel guilty for feeling this way because I really do know they help me so much. I don’t if it’s hormones or what. Maybe ppd. But I can’t do anything to fix the situation that’s making me feel like this.