Anyone else feels this?

So I've been wanting to seperate from my partner.

The idea is that I would find different housing.

But I quite enjoy living here 😕

But it's the only sane thing to do.

he has 4 kids, and I only have 1. (he has 3, we have 1 together)

Prices have gone up and it's insanely expensive, so any other place with 1 or 2 bedrooms is now roughly thesame price as the house we are renting today.

So it seems fair that he lives here with 4 kids in the 4 bedroom house, while I find a (hopefully a little cheaper) house with 1 or 2 bedrooms.

Anyways, that's not the issue.. obviously it's part of the issue, I really would rather not leave this house.

My issue is that I'm really absolutely done with my partner (we've been together for almost 10 years but aren't married) but I kinda feel like I need his approval to leave him?

Which is absolutely crazy obviously.

He absolutely would not let me go, he thinks I am the woman of his life whatever. When I told him that I didn't want this relationship anymore he threatened suicide and actually left to commit suicide but then ended up not doing it.

I can't imagine leaving this relationship on good terms. But I also feel very trapped right now.. We're supposed to be working on things but I only get annoyed by everything he does. I am so over it. I was way beyond over it when I told him and I don't see why I'm here anymore.

@Catt

I mean, sure.. I could tell you all the reasons I want to leave but they weren't the issue here.

I didn't "suddenly" stop loving him. I have been treated with disrespect for 10 years and I begged for 6 years to have it changed and he didn't budge, claimed I was the issue,... I asked for couples therapy, everything. I have told him several times that if "xyz" happened again that I would leave him. (which obviously happened again)

Everything I've posted here, came out as everyone saying that he was abusive to me. When I finally told someone in my circle they would tell me it was abusive. Even his friends have been uncomfortable when he lashed out at me and our joint friends have repeatedly asked if I was ok, when he stepped out of the room, and I would tell them everything was fine and make excuses for him. My (then) 16yo stepson stood up for me when his dad was treating me unfairly. So there's a lot of things that made me get at this point.. and the abuse is probably why I'm seeking his approval for leaving him, because for the last 10 years I have needed his approval for even buying a pack of strawberries (even though I have always worked thesame amount of hours he did), His approval of the method of which I cleaned, his approval for the words that came out of my mouth,... when I say everything, that is exactly what I mean.

He never got physically abusive though so it's so incredibly hard to prove...

Now that I am totally out of it emotionally and taking actions, Now he's willing to change, and I really am not feeling it.

I hope that I answered your questions sufficiently 😉

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In my opinion though, if I were to advise someone else, I don't think anyone should be in a relationship they really don't want to be in. It's not fair for anyone in that relationship. Regardless of the situation.