So I’ve been reading some stories on here and decided it would be nice to tell my story. First things first, last year June 2nd I gave birth to my first baby. I went into labor at exactly 39weeks. It all started while I was trying to nap at some time around 3:30 I woke up to intense back pain. With this being my first baby I had no idea what was going on. I (stupidity I’ll admit 😅 lesson learned) chalked it off to just regular back pain from the baby weight and uncomfortable sleeping. I decided to try and take a warm bath to soothe my back. I now realize the back pain was in waves, aka contractions. After the bath I paced around a little still trying to soothe myself, but nothing was helping. At one point I was in so much pain and overstimulated I shook my hands in pain, something I only do when im in serious pain. My babydaddy seen this, and knew this was more then just back pain and we started going to the hospital. Me, my Bd, and MIL showed up to be hospital around 6:30, and from here most of the story is a blur. They took me into this small room to check me and baby. I was feeling really light headed at this point. They went to take Josephine’s heart beat. This is where the story gets sad for a bit. After about 15minutes (I being in the state I was didn’t realize the time passing.) the nurse had the heart wrecking job of informing us. Our babygirl had gained her wings before her first breathe. Me and my bd couldn’t believe and still have a hard time believing it today. They gave us a few minutes to collect ourselves then moved us to a labor and delivery room. At around 7:45-8 I got my epidural finally. I took a nap and at 12:10 I started to push. After 25minutes of pushing and a small tear with 3 stitches I gave birth to my beautiful babygirl at 19.5in 6lb2oz. The believed cause is a really bad newer (at the time) variant of the flu, I had gotten taking care of my father. It was a really hard year, but 3 months after Josephine I found out I was pregnant again. I know not the smartest decision. But we didn’t expect to get pregnant so soon. We werent exactly trying but we weren’t not trying either. This baby had many many more tests, BPPs, and Non stress tests. Aka ultrasound to check for practice breathing and hiccups and heartbeat monitoring every week from 32w on. We weren’t thrilled about the extra hospital time but anything for our baby. At 39w I got induced. Main for mine and bds piece of mind. We waited with the first and will forever wonder what would have happened if we didn’t. I went in at 6:30pm for my scheduled induction. I got set up in my room, changed, and given the one thing that’s like a pill in a sting to help soften my cervix. I was only 1.5cm dilated when we arrived. It was then the waiting game. My baby daddy brought our Xbox so we could watch movies. My MIL brought us snacks while we waited for things to get going. At around 2:30 AM is when I started having intense contractions and I then woke up my BD to help me manage the pain. At around 4:40am is when I gave in and had to get some pain medication. I can’t remember why, but at this time we were trying to wait for the epidural. So the nurse gave me some pain meds that are safe for pregnant women that was straight into the IV. And let me tell you that with some of the best stuff I’ve ever had. I was in so much pain and when I tell you, it melted away instantly, and I felt drunk and just happy. After being in pain for that long it was nice to have some relief. And yes, I know it was only a couple hours but when you’re in that much pain, it seems like a very long time. I commend women who can do all natural. I have very intense back labor and I just couldn’t handle it either time.  At around 8:30 AM is when they checked me again and I was about 5 cm dilated and that’s when I got the epidural. Me and my baby daddy knew that this would be our last chance, so we both decided to nap.  At 12 o’clock is when I started to feel the pressure of her head. But what I did with both Baby’s was I didn’t call the nurse in until the pain absolutely did not go away. For me it came in waves and I waited until the wave was no longer going away. That was around 1:45 At that point the nurse came and checked me my water had in fact, broke, and she could feel Baby’s head. She then called my doctor. she was actually already on her way to Break my water if necessary. She then came in and everything started to get set up. I started to push and then one contraction and about four pushes in about 45 seconds at 1:53pm we welcomed our second baby girl into the world at 6 lbs 12 oz and 18 1/4in. Her name is Leah bell, after her big sister. She is a month and two weeks old. last year was a very hard year for us not only did we lose our daughter, but I lost my Step Mom who had been my mom since 5, My baby daddy lost his grandma, and then I lost my dad in February. But I’m trying really hard to keep going. Because I know there’s a little girl who is relying on me and there’s a little angel and Grandpa up in heaven cheering me on. If you’ve made it this far, thank you for reading my story.