AITA for not getting the brides made dress my friend wanted to me wear at her wedding?

Question

I (27) have a best friend named Ashley. We are practically sisters since I lived with her family a majority of my childhood. So it came to no surprise when she asked me to be the maid of honor for her wedding. She originally picked out this beautiful blue wedding dress since her wedding was gonna be in blue and purple. This dress coast me about 600 with making altercations also to fit me properly and get it looking how she wanted. Ashely loved the dress at first. But then people started talking about how my dress was pretty then the wedding dress Ashley picked out and saying how I'm gonna upstage her. The wedding is less than a month away and Ashley told me she wanted me to get another dress and showed me a dress. And seeing this dress it made it clear that she was trying to make me dress ugly so I wouldn't out shine her because this dress was hideous. As hideous as it was it was actually a little OVER $600. I can't afford to spend another 600 dollars on a maid of honor dress. I can't return the other one because of the altercations and asked Ashley would she reimburse me for the other dress. At least half of what the other dress was since I understand how expensive weddings are. She got offended and said she's out over 40k into this wedding and she can't afford to reimburse me for a dresss. I said I can't afford to spend a little over1200 dollars on a dress I'm only gonna wear once and one not at all. She got angry at me and said I clearly don't care about her or her wedding and told me either I buy the dress or come to the wedding as a guest. At this point I don't want to go to the wedding at all if she's gonna treat me like this. Her mom says I'm being unreasonable and it's Ashley's day. However Ashley's future mother in law says she's behaving like a child and it isn't my responsibility to pay for another dress just because she's worried the other one will take all the attention from her. I got to know though. AITA?

Answer

I think $600 for a bridesmaid's dress is absurd to begin with, let alone x2. Im on your side here. Her wedding is important, but theres limits.

Answer

No, I think you’re being reasonable. She needs to find a way to reimburse you if she wants you to wear a different dress than the one she already picked out for you.

Answer

She’s being unreasonable. Have you two sat down and really discussed this- have you asked her what she’s afraid of and reminded her this is supposed to be a beautiful day celebrating a marriage not how so and so looks in an over priced dress? Have you also mentioned she’s ruining a good friendship over nothing? 
I wouldn’t of paid $600 for a bridesmaid dress once. Never mind twice.

Answer

No you're not at all! I would remove myself from the wedding party. I would attend the wedding even though she's being a brat but would not dish out another $600. Sure the day is about her so if she wants she can pay for a new dress. She's already 40k in debt for her wedding (which is stupid on its own) why not go another 600, like really.

Answer

Then Ashley’s mom can pay for your dress. Both of them are wrong and this is ridiculous bridezilla and mother of the bride craziness. No, you are not the AH

Answer

Personally, I would want my bridesmaids to feel and look good. Luckily for me I only had my 2 daughters as bridesmaids so I couldn't care less if they upstaged me at my wedding lol. But to be honest, when I was a bridesmaid I just paid for and wore the dress my friend asked me to, I didn't like the dress and it wasn't overly expensive but in your situation I certainly wouldn't buy another dress and just attend as a guest.

Answer

I have been a bridesmaid twice and have never had to pay for the dress… or alterations. I always thought that was covered by the bride and then as bridesmaids we covered the hen party. My friend had a destination wedding that I wasn’t going to be able to go to (even though I was a bridesmaid) because money was tight and without thinking twice she paid for the flight and I paid her back at the end of the month. I defiantly do not think you’re the asshole!!

Answer

You’re not the AH, and honestly, if she’s that insecure that’s a her problem. I had all my bridesmaids pick dresses they felt beautiful in. I’m not worried about someone “upstaging” me, I loved my wedding dress and felt like a million bucks in it. I wanted all my closest friends to feel the same way

Answer

That’s crazy. It’s crazy of her to pick out bridesmaid dresses that expensive anyways but even crazier she wants you to buy two of them. I wouldn’t even go.

AITA for not getting the brides made dress my friend wanted to me wear at her wedding?

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