How to teach 4 year old? A bad mom moment

How do I teach my 4 year old not to throw things when shes angry? I Had a terrible mom moment tonight and right now its hard to forgive myself for it. Its all my fault as i didnt have the ability to handle the situation today. I work.until 6 am and then i clean and then take.her to.daycare.for a couple hours so i can sleep. I havent.been feel the best mentally since this month marks my moms one year.passing. it was passed my.daughters bedtime and she wanted to.play.out side. I told her no but we can tomorrow since it was already 8 pm. She worked her "no momma i want.to.play outside" into a very hard cry. I had just spent 2 hours cooking dinner and was tryign despretely to clean the dishes so they wouldnt pile up. She has started this things where when she crys she screams as loud as she possible can and starts throwing things. As i just tried so hard to clean up while cooking dinner now she is throwing the pillows ofd the couch. Throwinf shoes off the rack. Making a mess. I calmy said " when we are angry we dont throw things or disrespect the house". Well, that made it worse so i told her to go in her room. Which she refused so i walked her to her room and held her bedroom door shut while she screamed her lungs out and tore her room apart. Now that shes asleep and i cryed my eyes out. I feel like i just traumatized her. Now im finally.doing dishes before i have to go baxk to work at 11 pm tongiht. How do i teach her a better way?