My boyfriend hit me & I feel like it’s my fault

My boyfriend put his hands on me for the first time, we were in a heated argument and I told him to get out of my apartment. He kept calling me crazy and I was screaming at him to get out. I initiated the argument and honestly lost my temper and my anger went 0-100. I didn’t hit him I just kept yelling to get out.

He lunged at me, grabbed my hair and shoved me down on the bed. I ran out of the room and he tried taking my phone away and when I grabbed it out of his hands he grabbed my hair again, threw me to the ground and kicked me in the face. He kicked me in the ribs and kept pulling my hair. He grabbed my face and shook me and then grabbed me and threw me to the ground. Every time I ran to the door he blocked me and tackled me. It took me 20 minutes to finally get out the door and run away.

I feel like I pushed him by the way I started screaming and instigating the argument.

He has never put his hands on me before but a few months ago he did throw a full cup of Dunkin’ Donuts iced coffee at my face. He threw it so hard the lid cracked from hitting my face.

I know this is abuse, but why do I feel guilty and trying f to justify it? The next day he brought me flowers and asked to take me to dinner. He brought me groceries and asked if I needed any medicine to help my anxiety. I feel confused and overwhelmed.

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COMMENT (7)

de

Posted at
You feel like it’s your fault because that’s what narcissistic abusers do. They are manipulators. This will happen again and it will not get better, trust me, I have been there. I hope and pray that you have the courage and enough love for yourself to walk away from this situation. I am so sorry you went through this.

S

Posted at
Please, dont overthink this. No matter what you did, there is no excuse for him to touch you - ever. Leave him and dont even take his calls or read his texts, just cut him off and save yourself the sorrow. You can buy your own food and flowers - you dont need him for that.

Ny

Posted at
It’s not your fault, but future abuse from him can be avoided by leaving this relationship. He’s now aware of how far he can the abuse and you’ll allow it. It’ll happen again. Knowing that you have the opportunity to keep yourself safe and seek therapy to overcome the trauma he inflicted on you.

sh

Posted at
This is how my last relationship started. It eventually became an everday thing with him putting his hands on me and it got so bad to the point he tried to kill me and my unborn child. If someone loves you no matter what they'd never lay a finger on you. Get out while you can. Stop trying to justify something like that. Its not normal for someone to do something like that.

ma

Posted at
Run away from that relationship, am sorry that had to happen to you. I just exited a violent relationship, you can walk away too. A good man will never beat a woman he loves and want to live the rest of his life with. So understand that you are very precious and you deserve the best things in life. Don't settle for average.

Ol

Posted at
You feel like it’s your fault because you feel like you “started it” a man who isn’t abusive won’t hit you no matter the circumstance. Even if you hit him first. It’s never okay for him to do what he did. I was with a guy like this when I was younger and glad I left when I did. It will only get worse. Sometimes you need for it to get worse for you to have the strength to leave. You likely are just attached. He doesn’t sound good for you. Best of luck and stay strong. Just know you deserve better.

So

Posted at
This isn’t your fault at all! You need to contact the police