I’ve never told anyone this before. Partly out of embarrassment and also I just wanted to forget about it and move on. But when I hear anything about girls being raped on the news or on tv, I always wonder about my own experience. Please read and give your honest opinion.

Two years ago I moved to a new apartment in a new city where I didn’t know anyone. I was 22 at the time and this was my first real “grown up” apartment. The tenants were mostly around their mid 20s to early 30s so I was definitely one of the youngest. The complex hosted various events for the residents to meet and get to know each other. The first one I attended was a wine night and I was so excited to go and hopefully meet some people around my age. I wasn’t going alone; I would be meeting up with a girl and her husband who I met a few days previous. I did my makeup, hair, put on a nice outfit that I felt good in, and went to our lobby where it was being held. I poured myself a glass of wine while waiting for my friend to show up. In the meantime, a guy in his early 30s comes over and starts talking to me. At this point I can’t remember what we talked about but I remember it being a friendly conversation and that he reminded me of a friend I had in college. My friend eventually showed up, and the more wine I drank, the more my conversation with this guy seemed to be interesting. I don’t drink a lot, so it didn’t take a lot for me to get a little drunk, but since I wasn’t driving anywhere, I didn’t mind having more than I normally would. Anyway, he asked if I’d like to go grab some food with him and I said I would if my friends came. Which they did. Dinner, more drinks, and we ended up back at our apartment sitting around a bonfire. My friends eventually retired to their apartment leaving me and this guy alone. He kissed me and I don’t remember thinking much of it but then he led me to his apartment. At this point, and embarrassingly enough, I was pretty drunk but I still had an idea of what was going on. Of course he got me in his room and I don’t remember a whole lot of what came next. I was still a virgin at this point and even so, one night stands were never my thing but the next thing I remember is him on top of me and choking me. I’m sure that was a playful thing but it got to be too much. I couldn’t breathe well and I panicked, trying to pull his hand off but naturally I couldn’t. He wasn’t letting up. It was dark and I remember watching his fan and the thought passing through my mind, “I don’t know how to get myself out of this and nobody knows where I am”. The next thing I remember I was awoken to him trying to pull my pants off. I immediately pulled them back on and I’m sure kept my hands there if he tried once more. Again, I don’t remember every detail from that night. I don’t remember if he protested when I said I wasn’t going to sleep with him. But I remember how terrified I was in the moment and the following days of trying to process that. It never got to the point of sexual assault but I’ve gone back and forth with it in my mind to this day wondering how to label this in my head. Let me know what you ladies think.