Did you experience gender disappointment?

Question

I just heard of this term and I’m curious how many people have experienced feeling disappointed when they found out the sex of their baby? Apparently it’s not all that uncommon. If so, how did you handle this?

Answer

I have 3 boys & I’ve always really wanted a girl - so yes, I have experienced it, it was very rough with my third because I convinced myself it would definitely be a girl this time. As to dealing with it, I think you just have to allow yourself to go through the motions. You can’t control how you feel lol, so just feel it 🤷🏻‍♀️. It is important to realize it won’t last, and you’re really more or less mourning an idea you made up in your head vs being sad about your actual reality. I love all of my boys very dearly. I got over being upset fairly fast. I would still love a daughter & maybe one day I’ll have one, but if I have another boy I’m okay with that as well. We make up fantasies in our heads & get sad the vision doesn’t match. You could have a boy or girl and still not get to do the stereotypical “boy/girl stuff” with them. We tend to think having a son or daughter is going to go a specific way & that’s why we have that desire, but that’s not guaranteed  either. I think it’s valuable to be upset if that’s how you feel, while maintaining perspective. In the end a healthy baby is all that matters, but it’s perfectly normal to experience disappointment when something doesn’t go the way you may have hoped or planned. It never means you love the child any less & I promiseeeeee the disappointment will and does disappear

Answer

I’ve had three boys and I was happy each time. I would have liked to have a girl, like I like the idea but I couldn’t imagine not having just boys at the same time. I wanted 4 kids and I won’t get to have 4 so to me that’s a greater disappointment for me than the gender so maybe that’s why I feel like I would just been happy to have another child. No matter the gender. But each time I found out they were a boy I didn’t feel any sadness that it wasn’t a girl.

Answer

Nope, there’s nothing about my child’s existence that could possibly disappoint me. I think the whole idea is gross 🤷🏼‍♀️

Answer

I don’t even know what I’m having yet but I will be disappointed if I find out it’s a boy because I want a girl lol

Answer

I didn’t because I have a son and a daughter. If our daughter had been a boy, I would have been bummed for a moment but I would have loved another son. I think a lot of people imagine what their future family will look like when they’re young…and for me that was always having two boys and one girl. Lol. If we have a third child we won’t be finding out the sex of the baby until they’re born and we will be happy with either a boy
or girl.

Answer

This comes from gender expectations that are often so far off the mark. People assume they know what their relationship with/ what the child will like based on gender- they’re usually not correct.

Answer

I kind of did. When I found out my second was a girl, I had about 24 hours of crying and disappointment. At the time I felt so much guilt about it, but in retrospect, I don’t think it was disappointment - I think it was fear. I had a horrible, abusive mother who made all aspects of being a girl feel ugly, hard, and sad. I think I was terrified of being like my mom. So I work every day not to be. 
If I could just learn to French braid I’d be an amazing girl mom 😂! As it is, I’m just a great one 🙃

Answer

I didn’t. I was still trying to grapple with the fact that I was pregnant. The sex of my baby wasn’t really a big deal to me. For my future babies, I don’t really have much of a preference. I’d like my daughter to have a sister but if I have a boy, then I have a boy and that’s good too.

Answer

No I love my baby girl

Answer

I have 4 boys. And while I haven't, I've had family that has (with me having boys).

Did you experience gender disappointment?

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