Long post, if you read it all, thank you!!

My husband and I have been fighting a lot in the past couple weeks. I was never naïve to the fact that having a new baby would cause strain on a marriage, but it definitely is. Our baby is 3 months old and my husband has been picking a lot of fights with me, saying I need to accept more help. If I need help, I ask for it, but he keeps trying to manipulate me into agreeing to using his mom for help because he wants to give her something to do. I’m very fortunate that I can work from home and be able to watch my baby at the same time. It was definitely stressful at first, but I have adjusted very well and it’s been pretty smooth sailing since. Of course there are a few times where I would need someone to come in like if I had a meeting, etc.. my husband works out of the house and he works very hard and makes majority of our money and at first I thought he was just trying to look out for me but in reality it’s him just not taking on any other responsibilities. I make a comment about how I haven’t had a shower in 5 days, meanwhile, he’s had a shower every single day, and then he says well, we need help. No, I need you to come home and put the baby down for a nap and make his bottles and feed him every once in a while so I can get a shower. Instead of you watching me do everything, I need you to do it. because I do everything in the house all day long and all night long by myself. And he doesn’t get that. I think there is also a lot of resentment that his old life is gone. He wants to be able to do everything he used to do before having a baby and our son really takes that away from him. Sometimes I feel like he just can’t bond with him because deep down he’s almost a nuisance to him and so he has a hard time understanding why I don’t want to leave him with just anybody or why I don’t wanna leave him overnight for a friends wedding down the street. I’m definitely not a helicopter parent, I have no problem leaving the house and leaving my baby with people but at the end of the day I am a mom and that is my number one role right now and I will never stop being a mom. I like to find an equal and healthy balance and my husband almost wants to just act like we should have a babysitter every day. We are just not seeing eye to eye. I am not looking for people to say if he is wrong or right, but am I wrong for maybe not understanding his side more? Or do I have a pretty valid way of seeing things? I’m looking for a reflection on my own actions or thoughts, no blame game here! Thank you all!

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