Please help me! And please don't judge me! I am desperate and suffering and I need help! Long post!

I have been in a relationship for 15 years now. I am 38 years old and he is 65 years old(27 years age gap). He is still married and has a daughter my age. The wife and daughter don't know about me because I didn't want him to be put in an ungrateful position in front of his daughter, although he wanted to make everything public.

In the 15 years of our relationship, we lived together every day. The only times when he went "home", which is in another city, were those when there was something to solve or when his daughter came for the holidays. So somewhere maximum 2-3 times a year he got there.

We have been through a lot together and in the last 5 years we have built together a business that produces and sells industrial equipment.

A year ago he managed to find a manufacturer that could produce certain equipment for us at a price that we needed a lot in business and without which we have no way to continue. For everything to go ok, he must be, at least for now, in the factory every day.

But that producer is an old friend of his and is in his hometown, where his wife is also. So he stayed "at home" for the last year.

We talked countless times every day, but we could only see each other 3 times due to the lack of time, the long distance and the budget. We saw each other once 6 months after he left, once last week when we both went to a client and today when he came back for 2 days.

The second time we saw each other, last week, I felt that it wasn't right...he didn't do anything out of the ordinary, but I expected him to have shown himself differently...more affectionate. And since then I suffer...

I can't get the idea out of my head that he doesn't love me anymore and that he wants to leave.

Today we had a discussion about this because I can't stop crying and I'm in so much pain that it physically hurts!! I told him that I love him but also that I feel that he is moving away and that I am afraid that he will not come back to me.

He told me that this is not the case, that he is just stressed and obsessed with business (which I cannot deny), that he wants to get the business back on its feet and then he will come back. That he didn't think he needed to tell me he loved me because he thinks I know that and he doesn't need to say it. It's true that neither he nor I were very good at expressing our feelings and affection except in moments of crisis.

I told him that I love him and that I want him by my side regardless of the situation for as long as it lasts.

He told me that I don't know what it's like, but that I'm going to see how hard it is to grow old and see how your world that you've always known is slowly disappearing.

That I won't want to take care of an old man and that whatever I say to him, I don't know what it means and that I wouldn't need it. I explained to him that I love him more than I am afraid of those moments.

He has some health problems but nothing serious that cannot be treated, although I think he sees them as more serious.

I want to trust him that he will come back to me, but I can't stop crying and get out of my head the idea that he is moving away and that he doesn't love me anymore.

I told him to find a way to see eachother more often in cities between us and he agreed but it's like it isn't enough for me...it's like I've gone mad.

Please don't tell me that I should let him go because of his situation and his age. I new about it from the begining and I knew what I was getting into and it is very clear for me even now. I know everyone is saying this so that I wouldn't get hurt but I analyzed and over analyzed my feelings this last year and everytime I get back to the fact that I love him more than anything.

Please tell me that I can still hope, that I have to trust him to come back...please help me with an encouragement because I feel like I'm going crazy! He is my world!