Low libido or am I not attracted to him anymore?

My boyfriend and I have been together for 6 years and our intimacy was great at the start, we started off doing long distance then after I moved in I was depressed from moving to another state alone, which also made me feel distant from him as he didn’t want to be intimate with me for being in that state

As time went on and I settled in we would have sex once a week, but I would want it more often since we were intimate everyday (sometimes multiple times in one day) while we were long distance, but he didn’t have the energy for it because he was working full time, so he said once a week. In retaliation I somehow put it off and made it once a fortnight (saying I’m not feeling well, too tired, have my period..) and tried to distance myself from wanting to be intimate as often because he made me feel weird for it, which then turned into once a month, and at one point we went 3 months without it because he didn’t even try.

Our sex life has been rocky since moving and we have broken up multiple times because of it, but the day after he always made an effort and tried to win me back, which he never does any other time. He never celebrates my birthday or buys me gifts, never does anything for Valentine’s Day or even our anniversary. He is very simple and doesn’t even buy his family gifts because it’s all about money, and not the gesture. Which upsets me because I don’t feel special to him. I love celebrating and looking back on me memories. We have a great friendship otherwise, but not much separates him from being my friend vs my boyfriend.

We also don’t connect on a deeper level which makes me wonder if I’m putting off being intimate with him because I want to make love and not just be physical which is easier for guys to do.

Lately he has been asking for us to be intimate but never does anything for me to want to do that, like spend quality time together, and would message me stuff like “can I finger you tonight?” In the middle of gaming with his friends.. instead of coming up to cuddle me or do something to initiate it. He just asks then gets upset if I go to sleep before him since he’s up playing games

The past week he has been asking to go down on me which makes me nervous because after sex I usually get emotional and cry for not climaxing, and in that situation (him going down on me) all the pressure is on me and I hate that. I just can’t get in the zone because I’m also in my head a lot.

I’m so stuck and I think because he doesn’t put effort in on his side, I don’t feel like giving myself to him, which always causes a fight. I used to just go with it to avoid arguing but one day we spoke about it and he told me it’s okay to say no when I don’t want to, and since then I have been speaking up which doesn’t always go down well.

Am I not attracted to him anymore? We have a beautiful life and I do so much for him, but I feel like I’m stepping up too much and in my masculine energy because it, or do I just have a low libido because it’s never in my favour and he doesn’t make an effort to seduce me or make me feel special?

I’m so torn because I love him, but I’m not sure if I’m IN love with him anymore. Please let me know your thoughts, and ask any questions

Edit: To add to all this, he’s not the best kisser and although he loves me very much, he makes me feel like I’m abnormal for feeling a certain way or thinking of things. Like we were watching sex education the other day and I said that putting your finger in someone’s bum would make your finger smell and he was like “you over think things too much”

I also never feel like dressing up or drawing attention to myself because he always says “looking good babe” like a robot. I would rather just look ugly in baggy clothes so he doesn’t acknowledge me and use one of his very limited phrases to explain how I look.

He says that when I’m fresh out of the shower too (clothes on and moisturised) or just doing nothing. Like tell why I look good?! Do you love my makeup? The clothes I’m wearing? Like be specific.

Drives me crazy.

I also believe I have ADHD and OCD and he just brushes everything off, doesn’t want to understand me, or women’s cycles. Like he just thinks we bleed and thinks we’re emotional for no reason. I sent him a 1 minute video on women’s cycles and he didn’t even watch it. Just blames me for not being in the mood, and initiates by just asking to do the deed, not making an effort :(