Have 2 year old in delivery room during birth?

Question

￼My husband wants to be with me for the birth of our second baby. I want him there too. We have a toddler who will just have turned two when I deliver. (Due date is in one month). My daughter has only met one of our family members, my mom. She lives 3 hours away and is not in good health condition so it’s difficult to say how quickly she can get here and how capable she will be of taking care of our toddler on her own on any given day. My dad lives 5 hours away and our daughter hasn’t met him yet. (My husband and dad have a poor relationship, to say the least). My first labor and delivery only took a total of 8 hours so the midwives and doctors say that my second delivery will likely be shorter. So even if my dad starts driving here when my first contraction happens, he might not get here in time for the delivery. My brother lives 12 hours away and my husbands siblings don’t currently talk to him… we don’t have friends and we don’t have family who live in the area. So it’s literally just me, my husband and our two year old. 
Is it crazy to be thinking that we can bring her to the delivery room if we need to? Or should I be preparing myself mentally for delivering this baby without the support of my husband in the room?

Answer

In no way should a toddler be in the delivery room while you give birth. They should not see you in that amount of pain, it can very easily be traumatizing for him. You either need to have your husband stay home or find other means of someone watching your child. 
Also most hospital policies will not allow a child under 18 yrs of age in the delivery room. It should not be yours or your husband’s responsibility to take care of your child at the hospital while you are in labor.

Answer

I absolutely would not be bringing my toddler.

Answer

Oh gosh I don’t even know what to say… all I know is there is no way I could be having a baby with my 3 year old in the room. Would they even allow that? I think it would traumatize her if she were to see anything. And I would just feel so much more comfortable not having to feel like I need to act strong for her in labor, like I wouldn’t want to worry her. If it were up to me, I’d honestly probably pick doing it alone over having my toddler in the room with me. I’m sorry you’re in this situation :(

Answer

My labor with my second was very short, but we did a planned home birth. My toddler (21mo at the time) was with me up until about an hour before I delivered. I took a Hypnobirthing class when I was pregnant the first time and used those techniques during both of my births. My labor and deliveries were both quite calm, but I was glad in the end that she had gone to bed by the final stage, mostly because I wanted to enjoy the time quietly with my newborn before introducing them to each other.
That said, most hospitals will not permit a toddler in the delivery room. Would a babysitter or sibling doula be an option for you? Someone who could come spend time with your child beforehand to get to know them, so that they’ll be comfortable together when the time comes?

Answer

I feel like there are two very different schools of thought in this. Some people find birth extremely medical and traumatic especially for younger babes to see. It also is inherently natural and beautiful. I don’t think a 2yr old would be traumatized personally but that’s for your family to decide. The main issue with bringing them would be that your husband won’t be able to concentrate on supporting you as the toddler will need his attention. Also, being a mom you’ll be focusing on their needs instead of your own as well. I think it can work and be a beautiful moment for your family but there is alot to unpack and consider.

Answer

I would be looking for a sitter you can trust now and have a couple times of them watching your child before delivery and someone who could be on call when you deliver

Have 2 year old in delivery room during birth?

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