Is my relationship fair?

I’m a stay at home mom to a 5 & 3 year old.

My husband makes almost 100k annually.

I have a small business in which I make about $1000 at most (sometimes less) during my busy season which is October-December, most months I make about $500, June-August I usually make $0.

Being a stay at home is HARD, we are homeschooling & I’m pretty sure my daughter has ADHD. She seems to have all of the characteristics. Every single day I feel like I’m pulling out my hair. I pay our target bill which is probably a monthly average of $175, I pay one of my husbands student loan bills which is $157 every month. I used to put $300 toward our car bill until I wasn’t able to afford it anymore but nonetheless, I was helping. I buy my own things (which isn’t often) such as clothes, makeup, any other items that are not necessities. Any time I go to the store, I use my credit card & just pay the monthly bill. I don’t spend much on myself. I’m in need of some new jeans & after searching, waiting, & searching again through thrift stores with zero luck, I’m still hesitant to buy brand new jeans. I have some that have been sitting in my online cart for about a month because I’m nervous to ask my husband if I could buy some. (Why are jeans so expensive?!)

I’m home ALL DAY. My children are not in any activities, I rarely get a break, my husband doesn’t trust anyone to watch our kids.

I clean, cook, help my daughter with school, I just started school again, & I have my small business. I feel extremely overwhelmed almost every day.

I just got off the phone with my husband & I asked if he could pick up my glasses & contacts on his way home, his response was “do I have to make a payment?” & I said “yes, it should be about $150” he paused & then said “okay, just send me the money”

I was already planning on sending him the money before he said anything but am I wrong for thinking that this is a little unfair? Him telling me to send him the money just made me feel so exhausted & unappreciated.

I feel like I do so much & work my ass off at home & in my small business to make very little money & still have to pay for so much.

I’m certain we are not financially struggling. My husband will spend a good amount of money on things he chooses.

If I’m being honest, aside from the money, I feel unappreciated in general. I feel like my efforts are never good enough. I get blamed for my daughters “bad” behavior (my husbands words) because I’m the one the kids spend most time with, I get told the house isn’t clean enough, I get pushback if I EVER ask to do things without the kids — I asked to take my sister school shopping per my parents request (but without the kids so it’s not so stressful) & judging by my husbands reaction, you would’ve thought I asked to travel out of the country for a week without the kids. The kids ended up going with me. It was stressful.

I think my husband & I have gone on 3 dates since our kids were born.

Is this fair?? Am I ungrateful? Am I overthinking this all?