Vent Session and Low Sex Drive

I just want to get this off my chest since I’ve been juggling the issue for days now and idk whether to feel bad or cut myself some slack…Last month I found out I was pregnant while on the copper IUD, it was a a big shock to both me and my bf since we didn’t have any issues for the past 3 years. I was 5 weeks along and instantly knew I couldn’t go through a pregnancy. I’m a very busy college student, work part-time while juggling a lot of classes atm since I’m studying for my major and two minors. Bf and I talked about it way before it happened and we both agreed an abortion would be ideal. It was rough, had a lot of conflicting feelings but it was the best decision for my body and mental stability. Lots of appointments back and forth at PP, even more waiting. At one point I had to call the Abortion Helpline because I felt like I was juggling the after effects of the abortion so poorly while also trying to be the strong one in the relationship.

For those of you who don’t know, after an abortion you have to wait at least 4 weeks after to take a pregnancy test and confirm the abortion did its job. Mainly because the hormones can still stay in your body even afterwards. So all the waiting in between was very anxiety inducing since my thoughts like to play tricks on me 🥲 Don’t get me wrong, I feel sad that it ultimately came down to me terminating (had it been at the right time) but it’s what was best for me.

My main issue now is that my sex drive/libido isn’t what it was used to. Idk if it’s because I’m scared to have sex and getting pregnant again (don’t worry, it’ll be with double protection this time; condoms and the IUD LOL) or the abortion made it that way. My bf and I have had a very happy, healthy and active sex life so I get pretty discouraged when I can’t get in the mood like I used to. I get so insecure sometimes that I’ll start browsing the internet for supplements! I’m basically at a standstill now…

I’ll think about sex with my bf, get turned on but once it comes down to doing the physical part, if my mind isn’t all the way there then I can’t enjoy. I just feel numb sometimes and idk if it’s normal. For a little context, and if you feel bad for me I wouldn’t blame you, my bf and I live in a house with two other roommates; who are all guys. So there’s very little chance for privacy for sex itself. I’m the only woman in the house, my two closest friends live 2 hours away, I and my BF decided not to tell anyone (family or friends) out of mutual privacy and I’m still having dark discharge and spotting even after weeks of the abortion.

If you’ve made it this far then I’m sorry for venting everything out 😅 Any advice or insight would be appreciated!