Is it normal to feel this way? Or am i just mental? Sorta long

I have 4 children ages 12(will be 13 next month), 9, 1(will be 2 in January), 11 month old (will be 1 in 25 days). The oldest being a girl, the rest are boys. It took me 7 years to convince my 3rd child, not because we didnt try but because i could get pregnant due to pcos. We've decided to not have anymore. For 1, because we want to enjoy the time with the little ones we currently have. 2, at times the 2 young ones are stressful enough. 3, this economy makes it harder financially to have another. Now we always said we wanted 6(please no judgment) and i thought it'd be possible but the 7 years of ttc changed the plans a bit. Tbh im ok not having anymore but my selfishness wants just 1 more, only if its a girl. IVF is definitely not possible for us. But i feel if we have 1 more and its a boy we'll just keep the cycle going of "oh just one more, until we have a girl) and end up having like 10 kids, if you know what i mean. I know its in the best interests of the kids not having more but mentally im having a hard time not trying for another girl. Ive spoke to my husband about it and he also feels the same, he just didnt want to mention it. I hope im not the only one who has felt this way!!!