I really f**cked up

My fiancé has always had friends with girls and that has never bothered me as I trust him and he has never given me a reason not to. Well a couple of nights ago I got drunk and embarrassed myself during sex, which I will not go into detail.

Well I got emotional and had an insecure moment and mention the five female friends he had in his dm,and now he literally deleted all female friends while I was asleep. I never asked him to do this, and I can tell it’s bothering him. I hate myself for this and want to fix this so bad as I’ve never been the type of partner to say who he can be friends with or not.

It’s been a couple of days and we are not ourselves we are being more quiet towards the other and we are not normally like that, we are always so goofy towards each other. I tried telling him not to do it, but he keeps telling me it’s done and that my insecurities are more important to him than friends.

That made me feel so much worse, I tried to tell him that all we are doing is trading one insecurity for another cuz I’m afraid he will grow to resent me. He keeps saying it’s done despite me practically begging him not to do it. I’m scared to lose him😭