suicidal thoughts for over 15 years and no help

I’ve had mental health issues since a young child. A lot of it was probably due to traumas and some just the way I am. I’ve see a ton of therapist and have done a variety of different treatments with no changes. I’ve learned a lot but deep down I’m almost worst in a way. I also suffer from a incredibly disabling medical condition. I can’t sleep, eat well with getting sick, have any quality of life. I’m at the point where I just can’t do it. I’ve been trying to get help mentally and physically for so long and nobody even understands or doesn’t care or just as confused as me. My therapist and drs say I’m doing all the right things but just don’t understand why I’m getting worse.