P-ptsd or ppd?

Question

TW: birth trauma 
I gave birth to my baby girl yesterday at 33 weeks and 2 days pregnant. I came into the hospital for early contractions and leaking of fluid. They originally thought I would remain on bed rest until it was time to deliver my baby but then within minutes I had a placental abruption and my baby’s heart rate started declining fast. I was rushed into an emergency c section. I was on the phone with my babies father and he was at work and immediately left to rush over and be with me. The spinal tap didn’t work and I was put under anesthesia to get her out and save my baby. She is in the NICU and has had three blood transfusions and lots of tests. I know I should be grateful and I am. My baby could’ve died if I was not already here at the hospital. But I feel robbed.. I feel empty without having my baby inside of me. We did not have everything prepared for her arrival. I have not been able to hold my daughter. It’s nothing like the movies or the overly edited tiktok videos. I can’t stop replaying everything in my head that happened. None of it feels real. I feel so sad and angry and empty. I don’t feel disconnected from my daughter I miss her so much but I’m so scared to touch her. I’m scared to get her sick. I’m scared she won’t recognize me. I don’t want any of my family near her. She’s too small and too fragile and I don’t want her exposed to germs. My partner is not being there for me in the way he usually is. He’s been very hands on “acts of service” type of love with me and very loving towards our daughter but normally we always talk about our feelings and I feel like every time I try to express myself it’s like he’s not fully engaged. I’m sure he’s dealing with his own struggle of not being here and getting that call from me with all the doctors and machines in the background but I need him in a way he’s not providing at the moment. I don’t know. Point of my post is, could I possibly be experiencing PTSD or PPD or is it too early to say I have either of those and these are just normal feelings considering it just happened?
I just feel so disconnected. None of it feels real. Please help me.

Answer

It wouldnt be ppd yet. It would honestly most likely be almost like mental shock if that makes sense. It only happened yesterday and it happened so quick and youre body is dropping lots of hormones and lots of trauma happened to you as well. You are absolutely allowed to feel everything youre feeling of course. Try to work through those feelings with your partner, family, friends etc and because your baby is in the nicu you alzo have those supports too. They have people for you at the hospital to help you cope. Its okay to feel lucky you and your baby are alive. Its also okay to feel disconnected, inshock, sad etc. Definitely dont beat yourself up about your feelings. Before you know it , that fragile little girl is going to be 5 running up a storm painting on walls, and then 12 giving you sass like you cant believe. And this shock, and trauma will be a distant memory. You got this.

Answer

its trauma.  You experienced and are still experiencing, trauma.  Don't stress about that because you already have stress.  Just give yourself grace and experience life as it comes to you.  Your baby is being cared for, you are ok physically.  I'm a NICU nurse so I see what you are going through.  Eat healthy, stay hydrated, pump milk fir your baby, and express your feelings to social workers at the hospital.  It is all a normal trauma response.  Although trauma is abnormal for anyone, your response to the trauma is normal.

Answer

I had a horrible birth with my first baby. I kept slipping into flashbacks of the birth and crying constantly, I couldn’t get through his birth story without breaking down if anyone asked about it. I knew something was wrong with me immediately. I asked for help with my mental health and the doctors told me it was too soon for there to be a problem!! How wrong they were. My anxiety levels and depression were awful for the first year of his life. It settled a bit but not enough, by the time I was pregnant with my second baby, I couldn’t even watch a fictional tv birth without my heart pounding so I asked for help again and I got it. I went through CBT before the second birth and it was life changing. Get yourself some help now, don’t let yourself be ignored and passed off. If you feel like something is off, it is

Answer

This sounds so weird, but download the free Tetris app. There are studies showing that playing tetris after a trauma actually legitimately helps our brains process it in a healthier way, so we’re less likely to have long lasting trauma responses. I hope you recover smoothly.

Answer

Not exactly the same, but my situation was similar. I had to have a c section (not quite emergent, but close to that) when I had low fluid. It went from a normal appointment to the hospital quick. I was 36 weeks and she was taken immediately with breathing issues and flown hours away to a nicu. I felt very similar to you for a long time. We didn’t get the cute photos, or time to come up with a name and relax. Everything was rushed, and I was alone as my husband was with her in the nicu. Two years later, I still get anxious thinking about it, but it does get better. I would recommend speaking with a therapist. I wish I had. But here are the facts, you went through something crazy traumatic and it’s not fair. You are allowed to be both grateful for your baby, and also mad that everything went so awry. It sucks. I’m really sorry. My only consolation is that all the cute birth stuff you didn’t get to do aside, there are many more wonderful moments to come. You aren’t alone in your feelings. If you begin to feel depressed, anxious, etc, contact your Dr asap. I got PPD and there are options. YOU ARE NOT ALONE💗💗💗 you did a miraculous thing. Your body has worked hard. You are a fighter.

Answer

Your experiencing shock and grief. Which is very normal response for somthing like that.  The picture you had mind didn’t go to plan which is grief. I wouldn’t say ptsd or ppd but there’s a possibly it could become that in future if you get more symptoms. I would leave that up to a therapist to diagnoses if you are concerned. Give it some time. Sending good vibes to you and your daughter. I was born a premature baby just like her and now an adult. She will be taken well care of!

Answer

At the moment you are suffering shock and grief ehich is normal in the days after having a premature baby. You feel robbed of the experience of a normal pregnancy, like you failed to keep baby safe anf like your body failed. Its all normal feelings to have but i promise that you are neither of the last two! You did what you needed to help your baby survive and now you need to focus on keeping your mental health stable and also focus on your little one in nicu. There will be ups and downs in nicu and it wont be plain sailing but make sure to look after yourself xx

Answer

It very well could be ppd already, you are postpartum, that means after birth. It could also be a form of PTSD. 
I have PTSD from a late term loss in 2019. I get constant nightmares, my heart breaks when I see babies around the age my son would be, I’m angry still at the doctors who failed to notice the signs of infection I had. PTSD comes in all shapes and sizes, without a therapist, it’s hard to diagnose. I was diagnosed almost right after. With my daughter that I had end of October I’m terrified of anything happening to her and my PTSD has changed.
Your baby is where they need to be to start to thrive. I know it’s hard now but just remember that your baby loves you. I know it’s easier said than done but you have to try to stay positive for them. It’s okay to feel sad but also try to be strong for your baby, visit them in the NICU if you can. They will remember your voice when they hear it. Sending all the positive vibes I can

Answer

That's not how ptsd works...it's not instantaneous

P-ptsd or ppd?

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