So this is niggling away at me.

My guy let slip 6 months ago when he had a few beers how he was going to plan a romantic trip away for us. He was going to pop the question.

Now he was not that drunk as we spoke about this again the next day… so I patiently waited. Then 4 months on I asked were we going to plan this (I’d need a day off work etc). He said leave it with him.

He again brought it up another evening how romantic it’s going to be etc. And couldn’t wait and didn’t reveal too much as it was going to be memorable.

This week I said the weeks are going in fast .. and I spoke of this break. He said we both want the same thing and we can go ahead and go ring shopping …

I said gently and respectfully I take it I won’t need time off work then? He said he’s had a lot ot financial outlay the past 6 months and the trip will happen down the line, but the engagement will perhaps be over the holidays. (The trip wouldn’t be that dear. Flights, accommodation for 2 nights).

I FEEL LIKE HE’S A DREAMER now ! This isn’t the first time he’s said many times what his plans are to only let it slide and hope I’ve forgotten??

I feel really taken aback by it.

Male ego again. I have the belief my guy did well in business over 15/20 years ago, but bad decisions and being ‘way overly’ generous with family has left him short now. His mother sadly sees what others have and wants. He also is letting others think he’s still doing well. And they expect the food and drink etc paid for when he’s out with them.

The mother, she is very clever. She taps into his **hero instincts** and makes out how the item will enhance her life and she plans well then she gets it! She doesn’t need - she just wants the new item as others are getting. It’s very manipulative. This includes a new kitchen in the past. Not small things.

Also, this was a massive issue for my partners ex who in the end gave him the ultimatum her on the mother. He chose the mother? 😳

I can see if we got engaged she may also magic up what she needs next. I asked we go away and get married, very intimate, affordable affair. No fuss. He wants his mother there. So I can imagine the fuss and outfit requirements then?

Now, we do get on. But lately it’s very sickening the way she has to have items and I suspect my guy pays a lot towards her gambling and items for the home..

Meanwhile I’m living, by choice a normal low key life.

But I only get by, small treats.

Why I think he can’t afford the small break away for us. I pay a lot into the home also and I am generous.

I’m not with him for his finances, I have my own job but why promise me, get my hopes up and it doesn’t happen ???

I know the ring will need ordered to size to be ready for the holidays and I feel I shouldn’t get my hopes up on that either now.

We’ll perhaps look and it won’t get ordered.

What I say in life I do. If obstacles are in my way, I re-route and work hard to achieve it and find an alternative.

Please help me get my head around this. He’s a wonderful man, but his ex also it seems dealt with this.

It’s hard as he took his ex, parents and siblings on amazing, once in a life time trips ! We can’t even get a weekend away, 1-2 hour flights and 2 days away for an engagement.