I like to think that i'm pretty good at giving head and its truly something i like to do and most of the time it makes me sexually satisfied. Not to brag or anything but I've literally left guys obsessed with me from the way i give them head except for this one guy i've been trying to hookup with 😅. I gave him head twice. The first time he said he really liked it both physically (he was shaking so much) and verbally. He then didn't talk to me about it for a week until i brought up the fact that i wanted a casual relationship and i'm open to doing more (sex). He said he was open to it too but continued to not talk about it (to this day idk why he's like that.

Anyway, the second time i gave him head was about a week ago and tbh it was so random because we basically stopped talking in a sexual way due to his lack of effort (and i started talking to another guy). This time when I gave him head it was so different, he literally dominated me (it was the opposite the first time) to the point of him making me gag till i needed to vomit and still cum in my mouth while i was trying not to vomit on him. After i went to the bathroom to throw up and get myself together he was ready to leave, i was so turned on i wanted to have sex (I didn't tell him) but he just left. We haven't talked about it since and whenever i think about it i get so turned on.

I lowkey feel disgusted with myself because he doesn't even show that he likes me at all. He just acts like a friend but i really shouldn't care because I'm in a talking stage with another guy (i like him but I'm not sexually attracted to him and i think that's the problem).

I just need to know what other people think about this and am i an asshole for thinking about this guy when I'm talking with someone else?