Needing ti vent about postpartum depression and anxiety and rage

Lately I've been feeling like my depression Anxiety and rage is out of hand and I just don't know what to do. Im so mad all the time about the tiniest things and then my whole day is ruined. Thats when i get sad and guilty. Im missing out on enjoying my baby being a baby because im so miserable. I worked so hard to have her. I had multiple miscarriages, surgeries, tears shed. And now shes here and time is just going by and im so miserable. I need a break so bad. Shes almost 10 months old and ive never left her with anyone because im convinced she would either get sick and die or get hurt and die. Im so worried something is gonna happen to her that i dont do anything enjoyable for the both of us. Everyone thinks im a crazy helicopter mom and shame me. But they just dont understand the imence amount of anxiety that i feel. I dont tell anyone how i feel because theyre idea of making me feel better is by hanging out more and it just makes me feel so much worse and burnt-out. I dont feel comfortable reaching out to my dr because im scared theyll think im a bad mom or something.