Back story with the two most recent times. I have a 3 yr daughter and a 12 month old. Two weeks ago we went over to my in laws house to eat and the spend time with them. While we were there my daughter was playing with her toys and she was in the process of pulling every single toy out of the toy box. I have been trying to work with her about not making huge messes at other people’s house so I told her to pick up the toys she wasn’t going to play with. My MIL heard me say it and decided to tell my daughter that “this is Nini’s house and she can do whatever she wants.” I told MIL that this is her house but daughter doesn’t need every single toy out when she isn’t playing with them. I then got told that when we are out her house I am not the boss.

Fast forward to yesterday. My in laws came over to our house because they were getting one of our trees ready for the piñata during Kid’s birthday party. Today was also my kid’s doctor appointment. My grandma had told my MIL about how it went and what not. I then told MIL about how if my son isn’t walking on his own in two or so months they will put him physically therapy. His doctor also wants us to focus on one hand assist walking with him since he was doing it and now is refusing it. I asked her when she does walk him please prioritize walking one hand first before two hand. She then told me she won’t and can’t not do it. She will only do how my son wants to walk.

Am I being petty? Am I asking to much? If we even bring up the undermining to her she will give my husband which is her only child the silent treatment and when she does decide to talk to him again she will use what we have said against us.