the title is clickbait, purely for the dramatic effect.

my ex and i are friends. genuinely, friends. i am in a beautiful relationship (we’ll be one year on the 27th <3), as is he.

last night, or this morning rather, we were up late talking. discussing just random things, friendly conversation and what not. he was quite drunk, and i was getting there.

i was talking about a book, and how it shaped my perception of love. we weren’t a good couple; he cheated on me throughout the entire relationship which sucked because I was sixteen and he was my first true, true love. i was explaining how i no long aim to love one person, because to love is the kindest thing you could do for anyone. anyway, long story short he said “god, you’re cute sometimes” and suddenly the little sixteen year old girl was beaming. i love my boyfriend with my everything that i am and will be, and there’s no follow up there. that’s the end of that sentence. i feel horrible about it though, being so happy about validation from him. i go back and read it every few hours and feel so content.

nothing he could ever say could amount to the way my beautiful, wonderful partner treats me. he is the light of my life; and the reason i’m still here. i would never, ever dream about acting on anything with my ex-boyfriend, i think i just need closure for the little heartbroken teenager that never got a reason why.

i’ll always love him, how could you forget your first? but no amount of that dead love could ever negate what my boyfriend does for me. he moves heaven and earth to make me the happiest girl alive, and he succeeds everyday.

i don’t know why i’m trying to prove my love for him, i guess i’m just looking for advice. me and my ex are in an extremely comfortable friendship, like how we were before we started seeing eachother (minus all romantic feelings, he cheated on me lol and i will never forgive him for it). i’m just wondering, how did you finally release your first from your heart? did you? can you?

thanks ladies, i hope you all had a beautiful christmas if you celebrate; if not i hope you had a lovely monday ❤️