I’m nearly 6 weeks pregnant now with my second baby. So far I’m a little more tired than usual and feel something between a tiny bit of nausea and indigestion, which is uncomfortable but liveable.

I’m so anxious about feeling worse than this though. Terrified.

Last pregnancy was horrible for me. Proper nausea started at around 6 weeks, and peaked between 9 and 12 weeks. At its worst, I was throwing up multiple times almost every day. I was fainting regularly (combination of low blood pressure, dehydration from the vomiting and just a response my body has to extreme nausea). Nothing really helped ease the nausea until I spoke to the doctor and got medication to help, and wished I’d gotten it sooner. It eventually went away at around 16 weeks…

…. only to immediately be replaced by terrible reflux, which sometimes caused me to vomit if I ate the wrong foods and just generally meant that after every meal I felt like I hadn’t properly swallowed my food. I preferred this over morning sickness hands down, but it was still uncomfortable.

Last time I just got through it. This time, I know what it was like, and how bad it can get. I know there’s a possibility I won’t have the same symptoms, but I’m truly dreading it. I can’t just check out and get through like I did last time, given I’ve got a two year old to look after. Thinking about how it was and going through that now just makes me want to cry, honestly.