Just venting out.

I am a 25 year old female from Tamilnadu. I have been in a happy relationship with my boyfriend for more than a year. When my family was trying to get me married to someone they choose, I opened up about my relationship to them. They did not agree due to caste barrier. They made me quit my job and sent me to a relatives home in a foreign country.

For the last 7 months I’m here in that relatives house. They are still trying to talk me out of my relationship. I tried to make them accept our relationship. Nothing worked out. I made a frustration self harm in my wrist. My relatives had mixed feelings at that time, about they may end up jail or something. Nothing happened, they took me to India to consult a psychiatrist. The psychiatrist said I don’t have any mental disorder. This is just due to frustration. They promised I wouldn’t have to go back to that foreign country. I didn’t want to stay with my parents. My uncle told that I could stay in his home. Just within a day pointing that his wife is against that, he couldn’t let me stay in his home. They convinced me to go back to foreign relatives home again, promising that it was only for a short period of time.

Once I Came here, the way they spoke changed. They started to give life threats and defamation threats to me, my boyfriend and his family. His family is very supportive of our relationship. But after hearing all the threats they broke down, not knowing how to support.

Now, my mother is trying to convince me that she will not live long, she wants to spend the last days with me. She says that she truly want me to have a peaceful life. She is suggesting that she wants to come to this foreign country and live with me. I don’t even have a job here. She is creating all the scene and manipulating me to behave as per her will. I even told them I don’t need any property or money as ancesteral property.

She is going around creating sympathy with others and showing me as the evil.

I don’t want to give up relationship. In all these years of traumatic childhood and shame in front of relatives, he is the one who healed my traumas, put up with my anxiety, gave me confidence to do anything I like. He comforts me and supports me like no one has ever done. I met his family and extended family. They are all Very sweet and supportive and open minded.

My family has used me as a trophy all these years, tamed me to behave as their wish for many years. Once I realised and wanted to get out of there, I ended in a toxic relationship and couldn’t get out of it for 4-5 years. My current boyfriend helped me get out of it and healed me. He didn’t have to do it. But, he did he is still willing to do everything for me. I want to live my life with him, only with him.

I’m currently seeing a psychologist for psychotherapy. I have high functioning anxiety, which ulcers triggered for 10-15 times a day. Struggling to survive