Background; me and my husband have been together just over 10 years, married for just over 1 year & have an almost 3 year old daughter together

The past six months things have been hard, we hardly speak, every night together is spent sat watching tv in silence once our daughters asleep. We have little to no sex and there’s barely any affection. I’ve brought up the lack of communication and affection multiple times. He always tells me he’s tired but he’ll try put more effort in, sometimes he does for a couple of days but then it’s gone.

I feel so unappreciated and crap about myself, and I just don’t have the energy to keep repeating the same conversations with him to have nothing change.

I was doing our tax returns this morning and had to go through all our bank accounts to allocate money etc. And I noticed on his account a lot of money going out through PayPal to things I didn’t recognise. I went on his email to try find out what it was for and saw it was for only fans and chaterbate. He’s spending over £100 a month on these sites.

I’ve always had a higher sex drive than him, i regularly try to start things in the bedroom & get rejected and now I see he’s doing that instead.

I’m very hurt, I don’t have a problem with him just watching porn, but paying for it and (I’m assuming) he’s having full conversations with woman etc not just watching videos is another matter.

Especially when I’m then trying it on with him and getting nowhere.

Not sure what I’m looking for here but any advice or opinions would be welcome. Am I just overreacting?