How do you forgive??

Hi ladies, I've been having a very difficult time healing and forgiving myself. So my son was born at 21 weeks in November 2022. It was my first pregnancy and I had just moved to a new city and i knew no one besides my husband. On top of that i knew NOTHING about pregnancy. The week prior to my son being born I was gushing water in my underwear. I went to an emergency room and they checked me and the stupid resident doctor told me iam good to go home that my baby just kicked on my bladder. I knew deep down in my heart that didn't make sense but I just did what they told me as they are supposed to be the experts right. Fast forward 1 week later I began having what I think now were contractions but instead of going to the same emergency room again I decided to go to another hospital for a 2nd opinion. Which I now know was the biggest mistake of my life because that emergency room kept me in their hospital for 8hrs then told me at the last minute that they only treat women over 36weeks pregnant and they dont have the proper equipment to treat me. According to them i still had some of my cervix still in tact at that time. They didn't offer to transfer me to a different hospital they freely just let me walk out the hospital and go home. By the time I got to my original emergency room hospital later on that night, they asked me why I didn't come to their hospital first because they said my cervix was completely open and it couldn't be stitched back up. 2 days later I ended up delivering my son that was stillbirth. This happened over 1yr ago and iam still filled With so much anger. A lot of the time I blame myself for trying to seek a 2nd opinion but my discernment and lack of trust with the resident doctor led me to doing so. It was a new city and I knew nothing about any of these hospitals. Sometimes I even blame my husband for making us move to a new city smh. I always blame both hospitals for the roles that they played in my son's death as well. Anyways fast forward to now feb. 2024 I have had 1 miscarriage since then and no live births/babies. Iam already 37yrs old and my hubby is in his 40s so every pregnancy really mattered as we wanted a big family and we have no kids yet. How do I forgive myself for making the biggest mistake of my life and how do I forgive others as well? My perfectly healthy son not being here and us STRUGGLING since then to get pregnant again does not help me to heal, forgive and move on it makes the pain and hurt and anger stronger. Sorry for the long rant.