Can a lack of sex in long term relationship cause depression?

Question

Our relationship went from sex once a week to twice in the past 4 months. I’ve brought it up to my partner and he says he has no libido. I’ve tried everything I can and I just feel like we will never get our old sex life back. I’m starting to feel really depressed, can a lack of sex cause depression?

Answer

Sure. But depression, and a million other things, can result in a lack of sex. On the same token sex is never an obligation.

Answer

I don't think lack of sex can cause depression, but you can feel deprived of it. An option might be to choose a time of the week dedicated to you both, which might lead to intercourse or not, no pressure on that part. If you can, a day or a weekend away of external pressure, so you can focus on the two of you. You might also need to talk with your partner about why he feels less libido, was it really high before, or is he really down lately ? Is it due to stress, depression, anxiety, work, friends, etc ? How you can help him feels a little better. Talk also about how you feel, your libido, your needs, etc. What he can provide you to make you feel better, to reassure you if needed that he loves you even without sex. Try together to find a common ground, without breakings limits. Maybe he doesn't want any penetration, but oral sex is okay. Maybe he can touch you, or watch you touching yourself.

Answer

It could be a contributing factor, but it is not the root cause.  Depression is related to emotional health, if you are not feeling connected to your partner, your emotional health is suffering. ￼

Answer

Yes it can make you feel bad, but lack of libido might be coming from depression to begin with. The lack of sex is not “causing” depression. One single thing doesn’t necessarily cause it—but it can impact your self esteem etc which may exacerbate symptoms. if possible a non biased third party might be very helpful in talking about what you’re experiencing

Answer

Have you tried mentioning him seeing a dr? In the most unshameful way. Because he shouldn’t be ashamed but maybe something else is happening. Is he depressed? Stressed?

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You feel rejected which is normal . That could lead to depression

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Perhaps his inability to give you sex goes against your primal instincts which may be causing you to feel like a less adequate partner. If this is something thats resonating with you, spend some time seeing if you can separate your self worth from him and his actions. Some people don’t require sex to feel loved and desired, but some do. This may be a journey for you to take, and if you end up needing sex, this might not be the right person for you. If that’s the case, leave, as in the long run, staying with someone who isn’t right for you is far harder than leaving.

Answer

I ensure you even my self esteem went down when my husband I started to be a sexless couple. I suggest you talk about it early with your partner, as time goes by the topic becomes even more difficult. Good luck!

Answer

Yes it can cause all sorts of issues not just depression but resentment and more. But on the flip side not wanting sex then feeling like your always saying no or that you don't care how the other person feels is also depressing and so on. My libido flip flops a lot. My husbands is always high. Sometimes it gets very old and frustrating knowing he wants sex and i could care less. In times like this it's important to listen and respect each other. Maybe there is an underlying condition or emotion causing the decrease. Talking about it and being kind and understanding is the best way to figure out how best to proceed.

Answer

Yes, it may be a number of things and not just the lack of sex that is making you feel depressed. It seems like the lack of closeness and intimacy as well as the significance change in your partner's interest in sex is a huge factor. For many women their partner's change in sex drive can be internalized causing a woman to feel rejected or like her partner is no longer attracted to her. This situation is also something outside of your control which can contribute to feeling helpless which can cause depression. You are grieving the relationship and intimacy you once had. If your partner is willing then it might be beneficial to seek couples counseling or sex therapy for both of you. It could also be helpful for him to seek his own therapy in the event that he is suffering from depression or stress that could be impacting his libido. There are also medications and/or if he uses any drugs/alcohol it can impact libido. A visit to his primary care doctor can be helpful. It might be good for you to get your own support from a therapist if he is unwilling to get help and since it might take awhile to rebuild your sex life if he does get help.

Can a lack of sex in long term relationship cause depression?

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