im going through a storm right now:/

my kids dad left us weeks ago.. now he doesn't want to pay child support so i am fighting it.. he literally took away my car.. didn't pay it. sad i thought this man would be my last and only future husband to my kids and live happily ever after .: i was wrong.😪 i feel like crying everyday.. struggling thank god me and my kids have a roof over our heads my own apartment for them... i been very down .. defeated depression alone.. stressed.: confused... don't want to eat or even talk.. sometimes i don't wanna breathe i numb the pain with weed and cbd gummies.. and alcohol .. i need help mentally i don't feel like myself anymore i feel ugly insecure fat nobody wants me.. and will never be with me cuz i have a 3 year old and a 1 year old.