how do u do this?

Question

so i'm new to this single mom life.. i do not want no contact or seeing my baby's father at all. he took away everything from me(car, stress,etc)... and he doesnt help me at all with his children no money or anything.. i buy everything .. we ended things a month ago.. his mom has been texting me acting like nothing is happening asking if she can see the kids.. i dont even want to see her either cuz shes supports his deadbeat ass .. she's a horrible mother she raised a cheater narrraist lying ass son. they don't deserve to see the kids at all. they took away my mental health ,my sanity .. how do yall single moms do it when the father wants to be with the kids ? or see them or the family  ? how do u hand over the kids without seeing him or their family? impossible ....🤦🏻‍♀️ my kids are 3 years old and 1 years old. they are small and don't even talk yet

Answer

Unless they are a danger to your children, I think its wrong you are trying to stop them seeing them, especially a Grandma. No matter your feelings towards the family and Father, you need to put your feelings aside for your children and not use them as weapons.

Answer

You cannot blame her for his grown man behavior. That isn’t how it works. She didn’t cause this. He did. You blaming and being mad at her isn’t right. 
You need help and she’s willing to help you.

Answer

This is tough. When you’ve been burned it’s hard not to want that person to suffer as well. But at the end of the day it’s not about you and your ex partner , it’s about you the kids mom , and him the kids dad. If he’s as bad as you say, your kids will figure that out one day for themselves. But if you keep them away from him and his family because of issues between the two of you, they might come to resent that one day. If he is a danger to them in any way or is a negligent parent then of course you could go the legal route of getting full custody and doing what you think is best by keeping him out of their lives. But if he and his family are making an effort, taking care of children is so much work, it wouldn’t hurt to have more people to love them and care for them when you can’t. Because you’ll need a break too as a single mom. But I will say, it sounds like you need to take this to court anyway if he’s not contributing financially to them. That’s not ok. Especially if he wants to stay in their lives.

how do u do this?

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