Sorry if this is long. I need to vent. Overwhelmed and feel alone with what I have been going through with pregnancy. If you read far enough, thank you for taking the time. I don’t normally post, but I needed to get this off my chest. If it feels too heavy for you to read, please scroll past bc I don’t want to make anyone feel uncomfortable. Thank you. My baby boy is suppose to be due May 31 2024.

So..every two weeks I was getting cervical lengthening checks starting from 16 weeks (dec) bc of my history of GD, preterm labor & neonatal loss of my son May 2022 due to a complete placental abruption. With my current pregnancy & pregnant with a boy again, my care was then transferred to MFM-high risk around 14-15 weeks.

Today I am currently 24w & 2d, but 2 weeks ago there were signs my cervix is shortening via U/S. They put me on progesterone that day and told me to come back a week later (2/7) to see if the medication was working & unfortunately it shortened more and it was funneling even w/ the meds.

I was advised by the OB that day to go straight to the hospital after that appt & be evaluated for a cerclage at 23w+4d. I was overwhelmed and frustrated, but we went straight to the hospital. Ended up being admitted and prepped for surgery for the next day after doing a full evaluation. At the time, I was 1 cm dilated (digitally measured) & cervix closed (via speculum). Went into surgery (2/8) but at the end the OB stated from the time he saw me from the cervix eval to while they were stitching my cervix had already opened but the cerclage was successful. Ofc after I had a lot of concerns. They kept me there for 3 days to monitor me& discharged yesterday.

We asked what are the chances of me making it to 36-37 weeks. They believe my baby may come before that, or I may make it further who knows, but they seem sure my baby may come sooner than expected.

It was also hard to hear & around this gestation during May 2022 when my son passed, I was taken from 1 hospital to another at 24 weeks with suspected ruptured membranes or water breaking, but thankfully it wasn’t due to that, sent me home, but ended up delivering him with an emergency classical c-section around 27wks the day after Mother’s Day and 2 days later in NICU he passed away, 6 days before my birthday. So May has been a rough month for me since then.

Also, knowing I cannot delivery vaginally anymore due to my previous emer classical section but also the original due date was changed bc of it of having to deliver 36-37 weeks, to now having to mentally prepare my baby may come much sooner. They’re hoping I make it to at least 28wks so I’m doing everything I can do or control with recovery but after losing a baby&pregnancy, it’s put me on edge along with now CI, incr chance of another placental abruption, and being GD early (have had it in 3 pregnancies). Idk what responses I expected, but if I make it to 36-37 weeks, my son will have at least made it as far as he needs to. I just pray for a living healthy baby….and no more emergency or spontaneous births. They say he is doing good inside my womb, just need to stay in a little longer 💙

Around 22wk ultrasound. Best 3d I’ve gotten of him. 💙

Again if you made it this far in reading thank you and sorry if I’m all over the place. 💙