Your thoughts?

Hi there..

I just left a pretty controlling relationship.

And I'm wondering if this is ok or pushing things?

I met my ex through work so we have some mutual friends colleagues, I left my old job and am at an entirely new company.

When I was still new in my job we all got along great and we had an amazing and pretty young team. We would often go out for parties for work events.. and it did involve a lot of alcohol and even some drugs.. Not for me but definitely for others. I at the time barely drunk any alcohol and drugs scared me but I loved the parties. So anyways when I met my ex-partner and we became a thing, he would come along. My male colleague once at one such party, under the influence, basically threatened my - then - boyfriend that he better treat me right *or else*. I'm not sure where that came from, we were a good team but I never thought he was in any way interested in me, if he was he never showed it, not before or after that statement. I wrote it off to him being on coke and just protective of me like a little sister, which is basically how he treated me esp while he was on drugs.

The last couple of years, the contact with my previous team changed, our function was altered from up above, my team changed, people grew to new functions, people were growing families and a distance grew. And eventually I also changed jobs and I am working in a completely different city.

My ex and I have been seperating for the last 2 years, I finally moved out this month.

My ex told his colleagues and word got around. (Officially we seperated this month)

My ex vetoed - when we separated, so this month - that I shouldn't pickup contact with the male colleague who had said that he better treat me right.

I had sent that guy a happy birthday on Facebook Messenger last year and early this morning he replied on last years birthday post. I joked that it's almost his birthday again etc and we had a little smalltalk about him being unable to sleep and he asked me how I was doing.

Would it be ok if I engage when he first contacts me? (like I have this morning)

-I have ZEEERROOOO interest in being with him romantically, but he's been a really good friend so I don't want to be ignoring him tbf.

I also don't think my ex has vetorights to who I can or cannot talk to.

Where I may be wrong.. is that my ex-colleague is currently my ex's direct boss.

I do still have contact with other members of that team, usually sporadically, but I still do some odd jobs for one of them and I have a really good friend - also from that same team - we meet up with the kids frequently.

@G.G

I'm not even talking about dating, like I don't even think about that hypothetically, I'm talking about normal platonic conversation - which is what my ex vetoed about.