Hi,

Just a dad here so keeps anonymous. I just don't feel like this is the correct app for dads in fact I don't think there is anything in place for dads.

My wife and I have children, we've been trying to get pregnant since July 2021 and it just ends in loss.

Our older children treat me like dirt on their shoe, or as if I'm invisible. I can be in the same room as them, for hours whilst my partner is out I'm just parenting our children which is normal and they won't ask for a drink, snack, anything and the second my partner is home the pounce on her demanding snacks, drinks, everything.

I know she's the default parent but boy I feel so invisible it hurts.

I've started sleeping on the sofa because when I leave for work I'm scared to potentially disturb the children because I know I'll get it in the neck when I'm home, I'll get shouted at and told I'm a horrible person. I don't intentionally disturb them but I'm not allowed a single bit of lighting on at 2am so getting ready in the pitch black can cause accidentally noises because I can't see.

She blames me for the children not seeing me as a parent

She blames me for not falling pregnant and keeping the baby for nearly 2 years

She says I cause too much stress and it's not needed.

I don't have family, I don't have friends. I come home from work, I cook for the family. I will always clean the kitchen, put the washing on to take the strain off her.

She goes to the gym 5 times a week. Gets her hair and nails done every month.

But I'm not allowed to do anything because it's spending money we need.

I'm only allowed to put fuel in my car when it's on 30miles remaining.

If I tell her I lover her she replies "that's nice"

I feel like I might be in a mentally abusive relationship.

I don't know what to do.

My children hate me

My wife treats me like I'm nothing.

I moved 200 miles to live with her and lost all my family in the mean time.

My family couldn't attended our wedding as she didn't want them there so I agreed and didn't invite them because I didn't want to upset her.

She takes the pregnancy losses and the failed pregnancy attempts out on me, when her period comes I'm to stay away, I'm to be upstairs if she's downstairs and then down if she is up.

It's not health and it's affecting my mental health.

I made an attempt on my life in December and she told me I was being selfish.