i don’t believe anything a man says

i can’t afford therapy or else i would do that. but i am seeking advice from personal experience. thank you in advance🤍

my last relationship was extremely toxic. he was extremely manipulative and narcissistic. he cheated on me with several women. slept with at least 7 (i’m sure way more). told so many of them he wants to spend his life with them and loves them (same things he’d tell me word for word). had another girlfriend (she had to get a restraining order cause he was stalking her). he gave me an std. his words were perfect. his dad was a pastor so he definitely wore that on his sleeve. he seemed like the PERFECT man. i ended up going through his phone and finding everything. it was actually disturbing. he was a sex addict and porn addict. it was scary.

well now, i’m stuck with the trust issues. and i know it is my job to overcome them. but i can’t seem to shake it. i do not believe all men (people in general) are the same. i know there are wonderful men out there. but for some reason i can’t take any man seriously because of my own issues. i feel like every man is lying to me. i feel like everything a man says to me, he’s saying to 10 other women. to be open and vulnerable is to open yourself up to potential hurt. but i feel like i went through the storm. i picked myself back up. i put myself together. and i am so, so scared of going through that again.

i desire to be a wife and have children and grow a healthy family. but it seems so out of reach now. it seems i took 2 steps forward and got pulled back 20 steps.

and i just don’t know how to overcome this.

please give me some advice on what i can do