My third miscarriage has me wondering how much more I can take. If I can keep trying or if I should just call it and accept being one and done. I’m not sure how much more my body can take.

I sometimes wonder what kind of neurodivergent I am. I know I’m different. I know I always feel alone and excluded, and socially I never fit it. I only have a few friends but they are very close friends. I get overstimulated very easily and always have but it’s worse since becoming a mom.

I think my almost 4 year old has ADHD. And that me, my husband, and him also have ASD. I think this realization came recently and it’s a really tough one. People may think 4 is too young to dx ADHD or to know but he has textbook traits. We went to a developmental pediatrician & he basically confirmed without Dx.

He shoots questions at me rapidfire, is beyond impulsive, beyond energetic, can’t sit still for even a second, can’t focus, look a squirrel ! He used to not respond to his name because he was hyperfixated on something else. He still does it sometimes. I’ve lost sleep over this.

But I’m not going to anymore. Because I’m not alone and man; he is also the most caring loving intelligent sweetest little guy you could ever meet. With the biggest heart. His teachers love him. He makes my day, every day, cracks me up. And we have gone to OT, speech therapy, early intervention, and every avenue we could to make sure he’s as successful as he can be. And I’m going to continue to get him any help he may need.

My parenting journey looks very different from the one I expected and quite a bit different from friends and family members. But it’s a journey and it’s so worth it. I just think there’s a special reason why we have my son and he is the way he is. It’s no a mistake. There will always be challenges.

Thank you all for listening about my life lately. You’ve been such a loving and supportive community & your comments have gotten me through the really rough times. You are all so strong.

k