So my 25 month old is so smart and generally a happy, loving boy. When he is tired and fighting nap time knowing it’s coming after lunch and I carry him upstairs sometimes he rests his head on my shoulder hugging me and other times he hits and bites me on way upstairs. I take his hands and gently tell him no hitting and when he bites hard I move myself and tell him it’s not ok to bite. I will tell him usually if it’s not nap time and he bites if he doesn’t get his way that it’s not ok to bite and if he wants to bite maybe he is hungry and ask if he wants a snack to bite into some food and lots of times it redirects him. I also when he hits or kicks say you can’t hit or kick mama/daddy etc would you like to hit/kick a ball. Or sometimes I say when he is upset and hits/kicks/bites would you like a hug? And most times he says yes or ok and hugs me and then his emotions become regulated and he smiles and goes off to play again… is this normal or should I be worried? My husband sometimes gives his little hands a tap but I disagree and tell him that defeats the purpose of saying no hitting he sees well you are so why can’t I? That’s just my opinion.

But my mother in law and her family make me feel so terrible about it. I had a bite mark on my arm yesterday for example because we were at my nephew’s bday party and it started at 12pm which is nap time for my two year old and he was tired and before we left I was changing his diaper and he bit me. I did what I normally do as stated above and when we went my mother in law saw the bite and said who did that??? In her rude way and I told her my son. And her eyes bugged out and got very judgey as usual. He is her youngest grandchild and her older ones range from 4-7 and because they are from her golden child, his kids, they can do no wrong and she treats mine and my husband’s kids like stepchildren…. The older cousins also taught him it’s funny to push them and now when he sees them he pushes them and my mother in law on other occasions has said to my husband “you’re just going to let him do that?!” To her older 4 yr old 5 yr old and 7 year old grandchildren who are her favorites from her other son. And my husband about our 2 year old said….”no but you realize they taught him this” and even his brother has made comments about our 24 month old pushing his 4, 5, 7 yr old and my husband has told his brother, your kids taught him this.

Anyway, just wondering if it’s abnormal and I should be concerned about the biting/hitting/occasional kicking in my 24 month old. My mother in law and her family make me feel like my husband and I are doing a bad job raising him and judge so hard and make it seem like he has behaving issues. 99% of time he does this when upset it’s nap time or doesn’t want a diaper change from time to time. I don’t do a lot of me Rachel or his low stimulant shows like trash truck or little bear… Winnie the Pooh. Only limit it to 20 mins. I had to utilize it more at times months ago when I had two under two and had a newborn and did it just to survive and see that having a small amount over a bit more helps his behavior too.

Thanks

Plus his biting has gone up since his molars are growing in he has been saying mouth hurt and has been drooling poor baby