Break/space??

Question

So I’m not going to get into why my bf wanted a break/ space. But he told me over Mother’s Day weekend he wasn’t happy anymore and wanted to take a break and figure things out. We have a daughter together and we obviously live together. When he told me this I was just ready to pack my stuff and go to my mom’s house then he tells me no why am I doing that? I told him if you want a break/space we can’t do this while living together. He was drinking all weekend and We had sex 2-3 times over this weekend and yesterday as well. He didn’t want me to leave because he said since my mom lives 30 minutes away from my work & daughter’s school it wasn’t a good idea. & he also doesn’t want to not see my daughter also which I understand. But then when he’s hugging me at night and cuddling he doesn’t have a problem so he said he wanted to go to the store and I said what time are we going and he said I do need space. I just said ok. Like am I missing something I feel like I’m getting mixed signals and this is why I wanted to leave so our space can actually give space even though I want our relationship to work out

Answer

Maybe sleeping on the couch or another bedroom or him home to his family or other friends and family to not have confusion on your part. Or Live like room mates no affection. Sex. Communication or whatever other stipulations. He wants what’s convenient for him. My needs still being met. I hope this doesn’t turns into disrespect, or manipulation etc. time apart usually makes people realize that one person misses the other and can’t wait for them to come back(usually the one that’s being left) while the other realizes freedom, relief and if life is better etc. or they mess with other people. There’s usually a power shift if and when they come back, where the other person now holds the control and outcome of the relationship while the other feels they aren’t enough and tries to do as much as possible so they won’t leave again. When in reality. It ends up you feeling used and taken advantage and not appreciated when they do the minimal and you do the maximum to keep them happy and keep things going until you get tired of it and want out therefore making you the bad guy not them even though they pushed you away. 4 main reasons relationships don’t work. 1 you no longer feel supported by your partner. This goes for every level. Mentally emotionally, physically, sexually, financially, spiritually, helping with the house, helping with the kids, siding with you over their own family, etc. 2 you no longer feel connected to your partner. This goes for every level as well. 3 your needs are no longer being met, same thing with every level. And 4 one person is being selfish while the other is being selfless. One person does the maximum while the other does the minimum. Might be time for therapy and a sit down conversation. Figuring out if he’s sticking around for obligation, for the sake of the kids, but that’s usually how you get to wanting a break. But breaks are really delaying the inevitable. Doubts. Finding other options. Comparison to others. Wondering if the grass is greener on the other side….Perhaps individual counseling. And/Or couples. Figure out what the issues are. And see if things get better or not. I wish you luck either way.

Break/space??

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